


I Am Machine

by cschoolgirl



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, PAPWP, Post-Apocalypse PWP, searching for a Happy Ending, shipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-05-04 07:04:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14587617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cschoolgirl/pseuds/cschoolgirl
Summary: I wish I knew what it was like / To care about what's right or wrongI wish someone could help me find / Find a place where I belong





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are other things that should be posted, but this fits my current mood. Sorry. Thanks to Nebelwerfer42 for reminding me Logan has feelings and RogueLotus for the pointy stick. I'd be wandering the wasteland without you two. 
> 
> Title borrowed from Three Days Grace song "I am Machine". The story comes somewhere after X1 with a healthy dose of ideas from DoFP shoved in for good measure.
> 
> * * *

It was the third time in a little over two weeks they'd moved. Rumors were already circulating that one of the mutants they'd rescued was fitted with a tracking device. Hank believed it was possible; a subdural implant the size of a microchip would do the trick. It would be hard to detect electronically if it wasn't actively transmitting. 

There were other ways to find a transmitter if one was present. A little old-fashioned detective work would be simplest, but he and Hank would start eliminating all immediate possibilities tomorrow. After that, they'd broaden the search.

Logan returned to the secluded corner of the bombed out factory where he'd left his bedroll and pack. He could smell Marie, pain, and the little fire she was feeding pieces of wood into before he reached the spot. This was the first time since her rescue that she'd sought him out. Really the first time she'd been near anyone in the month since being pulled from the lab. 

She squatted near the fire poking at it with a bent piece of rebar. He didn't think she'd spoken a word since he'd dragged her from the clutches of the scientist. Never said a word as he pulled her along behind him, fighting off the influx of security, and still didn't speak when they rendezvoused with the others. 

"Hey, kid."

She didn't look up from the fire; she resisted the urge to throw herself at him like the old days. She wasn't that naive little girl anymore. He'd done so much for her, once again risking his life, his freedom to save her and here she was about to ask him for something else. 

"Not a kid."

He nodded, she'd barely been a kid when they first met and war didn't leave many innocent individuals. They didn't all end up jaded like him, but she was closer to his disillusion now than most. It had taken a lot of intel, a lot of persuasion at the end of the claw to find her secreted away behind layers of security. He knew what happened deep in the bowels of such a place and he'd been impressed she was able to leave the facility under her own power. 

Leaning against a still intact doorjamb he watched the smoke filter out through a large hole in the wall. A year in the lab hadn't made her forget her survival lessons as she'd built the fire next to the wall to throw the light and heat back into the surrounding space. No matter what they'd done to her, Marie was still in the woman before him. He'd do what he could to help nurture that. For now, giving her time and space was the best answer. 

Thanking him might be the right thing to do before asking her favor. But she knew that more than a month later it would ring hollow. Only God knew what he'd done to find the scientists' favorite lab rat. After watching what he'd done to get her out, a thank you would never cover the cost. 

He was waiting on her. He liked to tell people he lacked patience, but she knew that was a lie. She'd been with him when this war started, knew when there was a goal, he was good at planning and delaying gratification for results. He rarely rushed into anything that he hadn't scoped out and preplanned. The thing he didn't like was beating around the bush. 

She looked up from the fire, letting her eyes adjust as she stared at him. He was going to wait her out, let her make the first move the only bit of comfort he could afford her in this war. "It's me."

"No." Logan didn't want to believe it, but given how heavily guarded she'd been he couldn't dismiss the possibility altogether. 

"Can't know... that," she said, feeling the anger she'd kept at bay seeping in. They'd used her, experimented on her, modified the sentinels to better kill mutants with their discoveries. Would they really let her just slip away?

They both knew she'd been in each group cut, regrouped and recut, only to be on the run again. "Use me-"

"No!" he growled, cutting her off. Logan wouldn't have her used as a decoy. He had made a promise to her and he wouldn't purposely break it. 

She could see his resolution to not have her used; yet they would eventually have to make it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn't her. Not only to each other but to the rest of the group. With all of his heightened senses, surely there was some way he could detect it on her. "Search me."

"It's not that simple." He wished it were simple, they could have solved this the first time it happened. Instead, they were left to slowly eliminate each person individually or for Hank to cobble together something to pick up the electronic signature.

"Please?" She needed to know. If it was her and she was putting everyone else's life in danger she would leave; didn't want to be responsible for others ending up where she'd been. However, she couldn't bring herself to leave Wolverine, after all he'd done, until she was positive. 

It was the despair in her voice, the only sign of emotion she'd had that made him acquiesce. This was something he couldn't wait out; he knew all of his efforts to help her would be for nothing if this wasn't put to rest. "It'll be intrusive."

She stood, nodding. Hands on was something she'd gotten used to over the last year. Surgical gloves and scalpels having their way with her. She forced down a wave of nausea that threatened to overtake her, denying herself the luxury to let her emotions rule her.

Logan was already pondering how they would accomplish this task, as her skin would prevent any prolonged touching, any true examination by feel. Then again he hadn't exactly looked for a small device before, he might be able to do it from sight and hearing alone. 

"Broken," she stated, stripping off her gloves. After all the years wasted trying to control her skin, it took less than a year in that hellhole to make her mutation give up the ghost. She hadn't quite decided how she felt about that. 

He nodded, hands on it would be. She didn't elaborate as to how it happened, instead began pulling off the slip on boots she'd been rescued in. That was another thing he noticed; she'd continued to wear the uniform she'd been dressed in at the lab. He would have protested, but the gray color worked reasonably well as camouflage. 

For a second Logan thought that he should turn his back to give her privacy as she began unzipping and pulling at the fabric of her top. She showed no signs of embarrassment, did nothing to hide herself from him. He decided the least he could do was spread out his blanket to give her something to put her bare feet on besides the debris on the floor. 

She couldn't remember the last time anyone had shown deference to her condition, cared whether she needed anything for her comfort. She knew she should feel something by the gesture, but she'd spent so long trying to not let any emotions show, even the slightest bit of indication of the pain inflicted, that she couldn't feel anything now. Oddly that made her want to warn him so he wouldn't be forced to hide his shock. 

"Scientists, they..." She wanted to say disfigured but she had no idea, only knew they cut her. Though at times she thought there was healing, she was never sure if that was her imagination or real.

"I know." He did remember the treatment one received in a lab. If only his healing factor hadn't worked, he would have scars of his own to share.

Logan prepared himself, but when she stood before him nude he had to swallow down the bile that was rising at the cruelty of others. He realized he wasn't going to be able to feel a small implanted device; her injured skin would make that almost impossible. Scanning her body, he could trace her time in the lab from beginning to end, half-healed scars to vivid wounds, small fine lines, and punctures to red, angry barely formed scabs. 

Marie stared over his shoulder, her face expressionless. It was obvious to him that she wanted indifference, a clinical approach. He needed to get on with it, he could see the goosebumps raised up on her flesh but she refused to even shiver at the cold. Pulling off his gloves, he started with her head feeling for lumps, ignoring the brittleness of her once silky hair. 

His warmth radiated out and helped keep her from freezing. He was so close she had to will herself to stay put. Closeness brought pain, or at least it had for the last year. She shut her eyes as he moved behind her, investigating a bump. He was being careful and she knew anyone else that was on the receiving end of this wouldn't get the same gentle treatment. 

Warm hands moved around her neck and down over her shoulders. She knew his healing factor kept his hands from being work worn and rough, yet they weren't soft either. He smoothed them over her flesh, firm, and reassuring. Several times he leaned in closer, inhaling and listening. Once upon a time, such ministrations from Logan would have had her struggling to steady her racing heart, but now...She didn't have to steady her heartbeat. She'd practiced it too much to let it run wild. 

She knew the girl she'd been a year ago, the one still infatuated with Wolverine, would have relished the touch of his hands, the way he almost caressed her body. That girl was gone, buried, she tried to tell herself. Despite her best intentions, her mind wandered, even though her body was in lockdown mode. It didn't hurt to think of what could have been as long as she didn't get lost in the thoughts. 

Working his way down, Logan crouched in front of her, checking her legs. He had to push his hate to the side and focus on the task at hand. The way they'd defiled Marie made his blood boil. It would do no good to let her sense his anger, that was something he needed to deal with himself. He lifted her feet carefully then worked his way back up her other leg. 

Her fingertips swept across his hair and he froze, his hands still on her thigh. He was going to mark it down as accidental, but a moment later, her fingers had settled for winding their way along his scalp. It set his blood to stirring in a different way. Yet she gave no physical indication that he could detect of sexual interest.

"How long?" It was a whisper, and without his enhanced hearing he might not have heard it. 

His mind raced on how to best handle the situation. There was really only one way and that was to let her take the lead. "Awhile," he admitted. 

She slowly traced the shape of his skull. She had no idea what she was doing, asking him another favor. But she remembered his prowess and reputation with the ladies and his touches had stirred a need in her. "Want something … besides pain," another whisper to herself.

"Marie..."

Logan exhaled softly. If he was truthful with himself, and he most often was, he'd entertained the thought once or twice. He understood her need as well; he'd been there a time or two also and it wasn't in him to argue the point. 

Leaning in he put a kiss gently beside a patch of missing skin on her thigh and her fingers wound tighter in his hair. Then he placed a second kiss on her hip, lingering this time as his fingers tangled themselves in her curls. Marie had already moved her other hand to his shoulder for support. 

She wouldn't let herself make a sound as his thumb skimmed across her clit. It felt good, real good, but she had buried all her feelings for so long she didn't dare acknowledge them now. Though she momentarily squeezed his shoulder for better grip to keep herself in one place.

Deliberately he brushed his lips against the skin of her stomach, inhaling her scent. His fingers slid over her folds as they became moist to his touch, one of the barely detectable signs she gave off of wanting this. 

She bit back a gasp as his finger slipped into her. He was gentle and cautious; his fingers making her forget the pain. Even though he'd begun to place kisses in a descending pattern, she stilled his progression with her hand. She was trying to analyze the way the warmth of his face heated her and the feel of his muttonchop on her stomach when the orgasm hit her by surprise. 

Staring at what was left of the ceiling, she tried to rein in her heart rate. Her breathing was already normal as it hadn't been ragged. He moved and a thought occurred to her about his need when she heard him inhale before he licked his finger. 

He made no real move from where she'd held him, and she thought he might be considering something more too. She didn't know how to get from where they were to where they needed to be. The mechanics were easy enough; few people escaped their teenage years without a basic understanding of sex. 

Finally, she decided on the simplest of solutions. Squatting down and then sitting, she used the hand already on his head to pull him down with her. She saw the desire in his eyes and began to tug his shirt off over his head as she spread her knees apart to accommodate him. 

Logan knew they should've probably stopped and he even hesitated after unfastening his pants, but she pushed them down further and guided him to her entrance. Carefully he pressed into her, watching her for any reaction. She shifted but gave no sign of discomfort, only another one of her whispers, "Please." 

Lowering himself, he rested his forehead on hers. "If we need to stop..."

Lifting the corner of her lips, she hoped it came out as a smile. She tried to replicate the way he'd touched her earlier. His slow steady pace made her wish she knew how to re-engage her emotions to show him that she liked what he was doing. It was obvious he cared about her and she wanted to do more to make him feel good too. 

Logan stilled, his mouth hanging by her ear. He knew she'd hidden everything so deep that she was having trouble remembering how to be herself. That instinct was no stranger to him, he'd been there too, and he'd also struggled to remember the entire world wasn't cruel. 

Her heart rate had increased as had her breathing, but she wasn't giving into the need. "You're safe, Marie," he breathed into her ear.

She exhaled and relaxed beneath him. When he started moving again, she began to explore his back with her hands. He made sure to grind into her and was rewarded with a soft sigh of pleasure.

The play of his muscles underneath his skin grabbed her interest. She let her hand slip lower to hold his ass and feel the muscles strain and release with each thrust he made. The tension in his body told her he was close and she turned her attention to the slow slide of his cock in her. 

He captured her lips trying to make the kiss soft and gentle, repeating the rhythm of their bodies. Breaking the kiss he whispered, "You're so beautiful." Marie gasped digging her fingernails into his flesh and convulsing around him. Thrusting into her a final time, he filled her. 

After a few moments, she wiggled out from under him. She'd already made it awkward, she needed to get a hold of herself. Quickly she dressed, wrapped herself in her blanket and lay down to sleep close to the fire. 

Maybe she hadn't really buried that girl, she wasn't really two different people, it was just another side of herself she was afraid for the world to see anymore. But Logan was safe; he wouldn't force her to share the soft parts of herself with others. He would let her make those decisions. 

Rogue heard him pull up his pants and rearrange his blanket for the night. Now might be an appropriate time. "Thank you."

Logan grunted in reply, resting on his back with his hands under his head. He let himself rationalize lots of things and this time he shouldn't have. The sex was good but didn't provide the comfort it was supposed to for either of them, for completely different reasons.


	2. Chapter 2

Stretching out on the grass, Logan let his conscious mind slip into the background and unfurled his instincts. Out away from camp, he could appreciate the different smells and sounds, all that nature had to offer. The natural sounds of the evening let him unwind and fortify himself.  
   
After their encounter two days ago, Marie had gone back to keeping to herself. She helped out as needed but talked to no one and took her meals alone. He'd wanted to approach her, but they'd regrouped and moved again, leaving little time for him to do anything of a personal nature.  
   
Scouting out the new camp location had given him time to think. He couldn't see a way around this predicament he'd caused. Maybe she would come over from her hiding spot and they could deal with it. Not that she would tell him what was on her mind, but he might be able to decipher more about what she needed.  
   
Rogue stood by one of the trees and watched him. He had a lot of responsibilities and she tried to stay out of the way. Really she tried to stay out everyone's way so she wouldn't hinder their work. She felt better simply following orders; the others said she was helpful and seemed to think that was good. It wasn't in her to question their judgment.  
   
He on the other hand, gave her space and didn't try to foist anything on her. He intrigued her more than he had in the old days. She knew he rescued her because of the promise. Not that she'd expected it where she'd been held, but it made him more interesting that he followed through when he didn't have to. Then he'd done something else for her and she didn't quite know what to make of that.  
   
"Don't mind the company, but you could come closer."  
   
It was a few minutes before she emerged from the group of trees. She didn't appear surprised at beginning caught, only hesitant to join him. At least she had broken her self-imposed exclusion, that might be a step in the right direction.  
   
Marie took a seat an arm's length away, sitting cross-legged in silence. She didn't face him and gave him nothing his senses could grab hold of for clues to her frame of mind. The quiet wasn't bothersome but wouldn't advance anything.  
   
"Found the transponder." She turned her head slightly to hear the news better. "One of the little kid's stuffed animals needed surgery." She nodded, showing no signs of concern or relief.  
   
Thinking back she knew what he was talking about. She remembered the blue scientist showing up, she'd kept her distance but she was interested in what was happening as he met with Wolverine and a child away from the general camp. The child had clung to Wolverine's leg as the blue scientist used a scalpel on a ragged, old teddy bear. 

Wolverine had held her attention the most, the way he talked calmly to the child, ruffling the child's hair. The blue scientist had the child help with stitches and Wolverine pronounced it a job well done. She tried to reconcile this to the Wolverine that had fought their way out of the lab, that led a large contingent of mutants.  
   
Logan tried small talk; something he'd never cared to do but was willing now if it kept her near. Finally, he let the quiet take over again. She didn't seem inclined to go, so he relaxed and watched the fading light of the setting sun.  
   
She didn't know what to talk about or even how to respond to him. Her mind was muddled on exactly how people interacted; she often drew a blank on mundane daily items sometimes. It was easier to leave the communication up to others.  
   
Being deficient in this area, she had spent several days observing others for clues. The real communication she needed to know about usually happened at night, this would give her the most insight on how to further her interactions with Wolverine. Others tended to ignore her and with close living quarters, it wasn't hard to find out what others did for pleasure.  
   
"The other night," Logan started but didn't get a chance to finish.  
   
Wolverine was thinking about it too and it was all the opening she needed. Turning, she lunged at him where he lay in the grass, only his fast reflexes kept her from crashing into a heap on his chest. She pressed further and their lips met.  
   
It wasn't nice like the one he'd given her, but he didn't push her away, so she took that as a good sign. She needed him. She knew there was more to a relationship, things she wasn't able to give him, but maybe he wouldn't mind. Maybe he was only looking to feel good too.  
   
She tried to soften her lips and open her mouth, giving him the go-ahead for one of the nice kisses. He moved his hands to embrace her, not simply to hold her as he did when she'd been caught. She wanted to make her movements gentle like he did, but it all came out short and choppy.  
   
"Marie," he protested as she unfastened his pants.  
   
Pausing a moment, she looked around, scanning the area. She'd seen the night watchmen setting up at the perimeter of camp when she trailed him out. Wolverine was always on guard duty whether officially or not. She didn't think they sent anybody out this far.  
   
"On watch?" she asked. Why else would he not want to have sex? She'd seen two people in the group do this and they had smiled like it was good.  
   
"No," he said, rationalizing again as she pulled his hardening flesh free of his pants.  
   
Her hands were unskilled, but she seemed eager to pleasure him. His cock was hard when she took it in her mouth, and he cursed his body for being ahead of his brain. He tried to relax as best he could so that she could explore as she pleased. Yet he couldn't, she was paying attention to every noise and move he made and repeated the actions that resulted in those sounds.  
   
She knew she was clumsy at this but she wanted to do this for him. It had been a long time since she'd needed or wanted to think of anyone else's needs. This made her feel connected to him somehow, with the way he calmly placed a hand on her shoulder and smoothed her hair away from her face.  
   
His body was tensing, his hips moving with her. She tried to concentrate on making her bumbling attempts seem effortless.  
   
"Stop," he hissed out from between clenched teeth. The smell of her arousal, though minimal, was tickling his nose, and he didn't think he could hold out much longer.  
   
She settled back on her haunches while his breathing returned to normal. Had she done it wrong? She didn't think the couple had stopped until the man was no longer hard.  
   
He cupped her face with his hand, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. She'd always been pretty, even as a scared hitchhiker. Even now she was beautiful with the way she so desperately wanted to make a connection with him, to do something for him even with all the pain she was in, made her glow. And he would not to lie to himself, this was for him. Even though her smell hinted at an interest, he would receive the most pleasure from it.  
   
"You're beautiful," he murmured.  
   
Marie's eyes widened, and she quickly shimmed out of her bottoms, the smell of her thickening arousal hit him just as swiftly. He was trying to make his mind work out how to slow her down when she jerked his pants passed his hips and straddled him. She descended on him wet and hot.  
   
He remembered where the painful patches were on her skin and avoided them as he placed his hands on her hips.  Her head was thrown back as she rode him and he wondered how they got so far so fast. That's when it dawned on him; he'd thought this was about her need to control something in her environment. That wasn't it and it wasn't strictly about the sex either.  
   
Glancing down, Rogue noticed the smile on his face. She slowed then stopped and ran her fingers along his lips. "What?"  
   
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, cause he knew he enjoyed watching her.   
   
Furrowing her brow, confused by his question. She thought that was the point of sex. Why would people have sex if they didn't like it?   
   
He ground into her so he could hear the small moan she made. Carefully he pushed his hand up under her top and cupped her breast. He ran a thumb across her nipple, grinding into her again.  
   
Her eyes slid closed, and she began moving, "Shouldn't I?"  
   
Gently he rolled her nipple between his fingers. "You enjoy it all you want."  
   
He groaned as she readjusted her legs and got more comfortable. It sounded odd; him giving her permission to appreciate this activity, but she needed to hear that, to know he was okay with what they were doing. She certainly wanted him to like it and not feel forced to do this for her.  
   
Pushing up his shirt, she placed a hand over his heart. She wanted to gage his reaction. It wouldn't be very accurate as she suspected Logan was disciplined enough to not break a sweat when everyone else did. But then she didn't give him much feedback on that front.  
   
She thought about watching him, but she couldn't concentrate. Not with the way he skimmed his hands over her rough skin, making it seem like none of those scars mattered. And not when he told her how beautiful she was.  
   
Every muscle in her body tightened, she could feel the start of the wave and she chased after it. Let it crash over her, only aware that he was thrusting upward as her mind sputtered and stalled.  
   
She came back down still rocking atop him. His body every bit as tense as hers had been, filling her with a warmth. She liked the set of his jaw the way for just a moment he lost control of his body. How he chose to do this with her.  
   
He had that smile on his lips again and he pulled her down for a kiss. It was one of his soft ones that made her lightheaded. She didn't notice when he undid the zippers on her top until he was fondling her breasts.  
   
Backing away slightly, she tried to return the smile, but it felt weird on her face and she stopped. She did like the way he was touching her; it felt almost as good as the sex. Thought she couldn't comprehend what he was doing it for, they'd both finished.  
   
Moving to dismount, she was stopped by his hand on her hip. "Give me a second."  
   
He sat up a little and took a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. His hand stayed on her hip to keep her in place. Soon his cock was hard again, and she made a small sigh as he gave an experimental thrust.  
   
Logan gazed up; she blinked several times before lifting the corner of her mouth in the beginnings of a smile. He started to flip them so she would be on the bottom, but she resisted the change of position. Instead, she guided his mouth back to her breast.  
   
The second time felt even better than the first. He slowed her several times not letting her speed through. She tried to show him how much she liked it. He seemed to want to hear her and she let a few sounds escape her lips. If they continued to have sex, she might have to work on that.  
   
After they finished the second time he helped her redress, then pulled her down to lie beside him. He'd tucked her into his side, careful of her injuries as ever. She knew she was a little stiff at first, but she didn't know how to do this, to relax.  
   
There had probably been a time she relaxed though she couldn't remember it and she'd seen others do this at camp. Frankly, if she remembered nothing past the way she felt when she had sex with Logan, that was okay with her. She hoped, another strange concept to her, that he felt the same way.  
   
Logan walked her back to camp after dark; he was sure that if she couldn't sneak back into camp unseen, she would stay out all night. Without the military being active against mutants anymore, it probably wouldn't hurt, seeing as how she was alone even in camp, but they were between operations.  
   
"I'll be gone the next couple of days." He thought she might like to know. "If everything goes right, I'll be back during the next move."  
   
Marie merely nodded; content to walk along beside him. He stopped, and she finally looked up at him. "You need anything you go to Havok." At her blank stare, he elaborated, "Second in command."  
   
Acknowledging the information she stood there. It wasn't like she needed anything; she'd been given a blanket and food if she helped out. She hadn't had a need of anything else in a very long time.  
   
Rogue studied the man before her. Was she developing something for him, a need?  Possibly, it seemed restricted to only Wolverine. It was probably the shared history, but she knew it was more than likely that they both knew the horror of the labs.  
   
The lab was something she didn't want to talk about. He understood and never mentioned it even when his eyes roamed her body and it was obvious she'd been treated poorly. He was always considerate of her, not wanting to cause her more pain.  
   
Glancing toward the sentry in the distance, she hesitated to move on, not that she cared what everyone thought. Hell, she didn't even know their names, but she didn't want to have to identify herself. Who was she supposed to tell them she was? A lab rat?  Or Rogue, the name she once picked for herself? How about Marie, that is what Wolverine called her? She wasn't sure if she was any of them.  
   
She could always sleep out here. Looking back at Wolverine, he seemed to know who he was, and she thought she caught something soft in his eyes when he looked at her. That was a puzzle for another time as he pulled her in for a kiss.  
   
When he finally let her go, Rogue was a little breathless, she hadn't felt that way with any of the kisses before. She watched him jog off and strike up a conversation with the guard. His behavior made no sense to her, but she took the opportunity to sneak passed the two men into camp for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Logan handed down the last of the supplies for his group. Someone had opened an unofficial channel in the military to supply civilians with food. It didn't hurt that no guidelines had been set and Worthington Industries became a partner in distributing relief rations.  
   
Everything had been checked and rechecked for transmitters and chemicals. Turned out the rations were expired and the troops couldn't get new ones until the others were gone. Enter Warren Worthington's assistants who bought the old ones for pennies on the dollar. It wasn't much, but it kept the various groups afloat.  
   
Leaving the jet, he picked up the pack at the bottom of the ramp. "Jeannie about finished?" he asked the younger man.  
   
"Yes, don't think your people needed much." Scott surveyed the area as the group got ready to continue on. "How's Rogue?"  
   
"About as good as can be expected," Logan commented. He'd picked her up a few things and if he could get her out of the lab outfit, they might really be getting somewhere. Clapping Scott on the back, he said, "Don't let the kids at the orphanage run roughshod over ya'."  
   
Logan walked off as Scott laughed behind him. He certainly thought he had the easier job, Scott had to balance intel gathering and dissemination, run the orphanage, and help Xavier keep it all above board so they could prove mutants weren't a threat. Actually, they were doing well if Xavier and Jeannie's ability to have several anti-mutant policies overturned was anything to go by. Then again having most major cities devastated and experimental labs that weren't supposed to exist exposed didn't sit well with anyone.   
   
Rogue spotted them easily enough when they landed. She'd anticipated Wolverine’s arrival and contemplated getting closer. There were a man and a woman with Wolverine. The man she felt she should remember from the school (a teacher maybe), but the red-headed woman was ringing some kind of alarm bell in Rogue's head. A scientist.   
   
She could spot one a mile away, and if she could've been a mile away it would've been better. As it was, she moved to the other side of the group away from the jet and began completing the task the second in command had given her. There were a few people going to be checked out by that scientist, but not her. No way in hell.   
   
Walking briskly toward Marie, Logan noticed Jeannie on a trajectory for her also. He stepped up his pace; this wasn't going to end well. "Jeannie," he yelled trying to cut her off.   
   
"Just a minute, Logan," Jean called over her shoulder, intent on reaching Rogue.  
   
Jean made it first and he could see Rogue staring blankly at her, a chill went up his spine. This wasn't the stare of the last week, but the one she had when she first joined them from the lab. Closing in he caught the final part of the one-sided conversation. "...Logan would want me to take a look."  
   
Rogue's eyes shifted to him. He'd only seen her show a couple of emotions up to that point, she'd just added animosity to her repertoire. Eyes sliding back to Jean, Rogue roughly yanked at her clothing to display the portion of her abdomen with the most scarring and the newest patch of missing skin.    
   
Despite all her training and experience, Jean made an audible gasp. Rogue covered herself back up, grabbed the items she'd been working with and purposefully strode over to the second in command. She heard Wolverine cussing a blue streak as she walked away.   
   
After handing over her completed task to the second in command, she proceeded away from the others. She tried to remember how her legs were supposed to work without running. The anger had faded, and she was left in turmoil again, her body feeling wooden.   
   
Fixing her eyes on a large patch of shade trees, she moved much like she had at the lab only concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Once there she pushed her way through the bushes until she was sure no one in the camp would see her. There was a sudden need to go further, but she fought that feeling down. She dropped to her knees and retched up her entire lunch. Hunching over the spot, she continued to heave for what seemed like an eternity.  
   
She didn't know what possessed her, but she'd gotten an odd sense of satisfaction out of shocking the scientist. Wolverine had appeared mad, but she couldn't tell at who. Though she remembered him having a thing for the red-headed scientist, so he probably wasn't upset with the woman scientist.  
   
If he was displeased with Rogue, it would be best to stay under the radar and out of sight. She could use the time to learn to read people's moods. She thought she might have known at one time how to do that. A year in the lab had left her unable to tell anymore, the scientists there had happily inflicted pain.  
   
Wiping at her mouth, she began searching through the little bag she'd been given for her meager belongings. She took a sip of water from the container she carried. Then she found the gum that came with the food packets and popped it in her mouth.   
   
The jet that the teacher and scientist had arrived on lifted off and she knew she needed to get back to the group. They would move out immediately and she didn't think she could survive on her own yet. She might know how to build a fire, but by herself, she doubted her ability to do much more.   
   
When she caught up with them, she kept to the back and off to one side. Wolverine soon saw her, almost as if he'd been looking for her. He could easily track her anywhere, she knew that, but she wasn't ready to face the repercussions for what she'd done to the scientist. She didn't know why it should matter to her that he was mad. 

She tried to keep her head down, not wanting to look at him and see the disapproval on his face. Maybe given some time she would be able to accept what he had to say, but until that time she best keep her distance. So for the next five days she waged a game of evasive maneuvers. All the while she watched the others hoping to learn, hoping to find out how they made up after they were mad.    
 

* * *

   
Rogue stood before the once luxurious hotel that had lost its top two floors. It looked as if a sentinel had swiped them off, like a child would their wood block building. Rooms had been cleared, the ones with easy escape routes had been assigned to everyone. Though there hadn't been a report of any sentinel attacks since the transponder issue and the military hadn't done any raids since before she'd been freed from the lab. If everything went well, there would be approximately an hour of warm water and a possible night in a real bed.   
   
She found her corner room easy enough, one window was almost even with the roof next door, the other window had a spectacular view of the city. That view wouldn't fetch the price it had in the past, as it only reminded one of how far society had fallen. In the day it had been a beautiful, well-appointed room, and she eyed the dark blue down comforter. Her old blanket was good, but she might have to find a way to take the comforter with her.    
   
Time was ticking and she'd already wasted five minutes of it. Starting the shower she got the warm water promised and stepped in fully clothed, figuring on letting everything soak in the bottom of the tub while she washed. Plus, she could avoid looking at herself in the big mirror just a little longer.   
   
All the little courtesy bottles were still in place and she took her pick of soaps. It had been a long time since she'd smelled of anything besides antiseptic. She thought there should be some big sigh of relief at the idea of normalcy. Or maybe she should crumple up and cry for herself, but she felt nothing other than the need to hurry and clean herself and her clothes.   
   
The light from the windows filtered into the bathroom and after toweling off she decided to see what the damage was. She could understand why the scientist had gasped, but again she didn't feel the shock. It was surface damage; she was mostly intact and alive. It was more than some and less than others ended up with.   
   
There was another thing she needed to check. She let her lips curl up; it wasn't a smile; not one most people would recognize, but it conveyed something more than her usual expressionless look. She tried to think back to a time when she did smile. The only times she could remember were when he was present. There had been a feeling that came too, something warm.  
   
Sighing, she wrapped the towel around herself and picked up her wet clothes to hang on the chairs to dry. She'd spent enough time alone with her thoughts to last the rest of her life. Best to move forward.   
   
Rogue wasn't surprised to find Wolverine sitting on the bed when she stepped out of the bathroom. His pack was on the desk across the room and the smaller, second pack he'd carried all week was next to him. She ignored him and went about the task of laying out her clothes.   
   
"Marie...Look, I..." he stopped and let his shoulders slump. He couldn't word an apology that sounded sincere. He wouldn't blame Marie if she didn't accept it, he knew Jeannie's reaction had been a blow to the progress she'd made. "Jeannie, she-"  
   
"Scientist," Rogue corrected. They were all the same, an interest in how the body worked. There was no way to tell the good ones from the bad ones.   
   
Her interruption stunned Logan, she'd been insistent about it too. He took that as a good sign, she was willing to argue over her feelings; not quite the empty shell she projected.   
   
He nodded. "She has her way of doing things." Marie turned to study him. He gave her a grim smile and shrugged. "Didn't want to cause a problem."  
   
She didn't understand how it could cause a bigger problem than what happened. "Problem?"  
   
"Jeannie accused me of using you." Marie’s brows were still knitted together, puzzling over his statement. He clarified, "Didn't like that we're involved."   
   
"You told?" There was something in her voice he couldn't identify, but the indifference was gone.   
   
“No, was projecting or something.” Then again Logan had felt the brushing of Jeannie's mind so she may have tried peeking to see why he was being so defensive of Marie.  
   
Rogue walked closer she wanted to gauge his answer to the next question. "Is it...?"  She searched for the right word.  
   
"Inappropriate?" He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously thinking it over. "You tell me?"  
   
Ignoring the question, she didn't much care what a scientist thought about what she was or wasn't doing. What she did care about was what he thought about the scientist. She needed to know; she didn't want to interfere with Wolverine's happiness, even if he chose a scientist. "You want the scientist?"   
   
He looked her directly in the eye. "Wanted is a good way to put it. Don't much remember why."  
   
"Flawless," she offered up.  
   
Logan thought about that. Scrubbing his hand through his hair, he hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way, though so far Marie had taken everything at face value. "Looks ain't everything, Darlin'."  
   
She thought she understood; he hadn't been interested in her when she was that girl before the lab. Maybe he needed someone that was like him, imperfect. He had his flaws and now he was willing to accept hers in return. Then again, he was interested in the scientist back then.  
   
He stood. "Need to clean up before the water's gone." He walked away then called from the bathroom, "Bag's yours. Thought you might like some options."   
   
While he showered she sorted through the items in the bag. A hoodie, shirt, pants, low-heeled cowboy boots without the pointy toe and a folding knife. The clothes seemed to be close to her size. He'd thought about her when he'd been away and then carried the bag during the week when she wouldn't let him near her.   
   
She'd thought of him while he was gone and again later, but that was about sex and wanting to have it with him. Was she supposed to get him something when he was gone?  Some people in their group occasionally gave things to each other, she hadn't really paid attention to that part. Or why they gave things.  
   
After neatly stacking the items on the small table by her drying clothes, she took off her towel and flopped on the bed. Cuddling up in the comforter, she decided she would take it with her. It was soft and lightweight, yet sturdy and wouldn't add much overall weight to her pack.   
   
Wolverine was almost finished, she could hear him wringing the water out of his clothes. He came out of the bathroom with a towel slung low around his hips and started pulling clean clothes from this pack. She watched him, the muscles of his back, the way his towel threatened to slip off, and it made the heat spread through her belly.  
   
Turning, Logan couldn't help but snort at her, all wound up with only her face and toes peeking out. He saw something in her eyes that drew him to the edge of the bed. There was a small flame of desire flickering in her eyes and he felt the weight of her gaze as it traveled down his body to his towel.   
   
She stretched out her toes and ran them up his thigh under the towel as far as she could reach. "Sex?" she asked, her voice edged with need.   
   
He looked out the window at the fading light, warring with himself about what was best for Marie. "Don't have much time.”   
   
Rogue flipped back the comforter as an invitation to lay beside her. When he hesitated for a second, she was able to hook her toes into his towel and make it fall. He shook his head, smiling at her before he took his place beside her.   
   
She put her fingertips to his temple and slowly traced his muttonchops down to his chin. The second in command's woman had done something like that and Rogue had wondered what it did for them. She was unsure, but it did give her a chance to really concentrate on Wolverine's face. The intensity of his hazel eyes gave her an odd feeling low in her stomach and she was curious to find out what would happen if she moved her hand further down.   
   
Finding his jugular, she rested her hand there liking the rapid pounding of his pulse, but he didn't let her fingers stay there for long as he leaned in for a kiss. When he finished exploring her mouth, leaving her quite breathless, he began kissing a line down her jaw and throat. She thought she should be doing something instead of trying to catch her breath, however, he'd begun kissing every scarred place on her chest. He was attempting the same descending pattern as the first night and this time she didn't stop him.   
   
In all her observation, she had not seen what she thought he was going to do. She had no idea if it would be enjoyable. Though she decided to trust him on this, everything he'd done with her so far had been worthwhile.  
   
He'd moved down her body until he lay between her legs. There was a weird quiver in her stomach as his facial hair scraped along her inner thigh. She felt the surge of wetness that she didn't fight when his breath stirred her hair.   
   
She gasped as his tongue touched her moist folds, but she fought the urge to arch her back; she thought it would be best to keep still as to not disturb him. He continued to lick her sensitive flesh, and she grabbed a fist full of comforter. This must've been why he stopped her the time she'd sucked his cock, the sensation was almost too much to bear.   
   
Suddenly she found herself floating, lost in the feeling of his tongue on her clit. She was vaguely aware of him breathing heavily on her thigh before he moved.  Coming back down, she found him kneeling between her knees with a smirk on his face. He seemed to be rather pleased with himself, and she supposed she should be blushing, but he reached forward and put his strong hands around her waist and gave her no time to contemplate it further. 

Carefully he drug her into his lap, pushing into her as he did so. His hands moved further up her body to support her back as he pulled her upright. One of his hands stayed on her back, the other slid down to her ass and he gave an experimental thrust.   
   
Not knowing what to do in this position, she embraced him resting her head on his shoulder. Although it was nice, and she liked holding him, his thrusts were shallow and the friction wasn't building fast enough. 

Gripping his shoulders tightly she leaned back and away from him. This caused him to shift positions and rise up on his knees further to balance them. The change allowed her to dig her heels into the bed and for him to thrust deeper.  
   
She wanted to watch him, to study him when he orgasmed, but her thighs were shaking and she dug her nails into him to hold on. One of them was making a low throaty sound, though she didn't think it was Wolverine cause he was smirking again as she convulsed around him. His smirk quickly disappeared and was replaced with grit teeth as he buried himself to the hilt, filling her. 

He lay with her a few moments afterward as their bodies cooled.  She knew he wouldn't stay long, there was his share of the night watch and other responsibilities he'd shouldered to make sure his people got a little respite.  Not that she minded, it was best she slept alone to not wake others with her dreams.    
   
Anyway, the bed was proving too soft and she might end up on the floor for the night as it was what she was used to.  As She watched him get up and dress, she realized they had found a way to make up.  It wasn't something she had seen others do during the previous days, or at least no one did it the same way. Together they had found their own way to solve the problem. Surely it wouldn't always be that easy.   
   
He smiled down at her as she wrapped herself in the comforter contemplating what part of the floor would be best for sleeping. Bending over he gave her a soft kiss that seemed to convey more feelings than she could ever possess. "Be back in the morning," he stated and disappeared from the room.   
   
Rogue woke with the first light, a habit borne out of the camp always being on the move. She dressed in a mix of the items he'd brought her the night before and what she'd had before, sorting through the rest she began packing her belongings, leaving room for the comforter.   
   
Logan stepped into the room during what he was sure wasn't her first attempt at getting the comforter into her pack. She looked at him in frustration when he broke out laughing, 

“Darlin', you're never gonna get that stuffed in a bag." 

She narrowed her eyes at him because she wasn't giving up, even if she had to wear it like a cape. She was unsure but whatever look she'd given him earned her a kiss on the top of her head. For a few moments she couldn't think, she hadn't seen this among the group and she wanted to know why not. It left her with a warm, tingly feeling in her chest.    
   
Unfolding the comforter, he spread it out on the floor and showed her how to roll it. Then he ripped strips out of the bedsheets to tie the comforter in a handful of places to keep it rolled. She put on her pack and he fastened it with more strips of the sheet around the outside of the pack.  
   
"Got everything?" he asked once he was satisfied with the way it was secured.  
   
She nodded; she was wearing the shirt and boots he'd gotten her and put the rest in the bag. When he eyed her pants, she felt the need to explain. "They're too rough," she said, pointing to her hip.  
   
"Should've thought of that," he said, hefting his pack in place and leading the way down the hall. She'd obviously kept them and would wear them when she felt like it, time was all she needed.  
   
Rogue followed, thinking about how his shirt and hoodie were comfortable and the boots fit better than the ones she'd had. It had felt odd to be thought of when she wasn't around and she was already turning over the problem of whether to get him something. What would Wolverine need?   
 


	4. Chapter 4

Rogue lay perfectly still. It did no good to fight, she'd learned that lesson early on.  The scientists were coming for her, all there was to do was wait.   
   
"Marie." Strong arms encircled her, keeping her safe.  
   
She blinked, Wolverine saving her again. Sitting up, he let her go as she hugged her knees to her chest. Shaking her head, she tried to fill it with thoughts of Wolverine instead of scientists. She'd followed him over the bodies and down the blood-slicked hallways. At the time she'd been afraid it was a dream, that he'd disappear. Now though she preferred dreams of the carnage he unleashed to the nightmares of the lab.   
   
Logan sat up beside her rubbing soothing circles on her back. He'd known she was having troubles sleeping. Unlike when he'd had nightmares, she suffered silently. Something else only time could help her with.   
   
She knew she shouldn't have laid down when they didn't have sex. Instead, he'd tucked her into his side and quietly talked to her about the plans for the group and she'd fallen asleep there. Rogue never slept with him, not close to him, not since the first night. But she'd been tired, they'd walked nonstop for two days, even eating on the move.   
   
"Should go." She didn't want to keep him awake, his healing factor shouldn't have to compensate for her problems.  
   
"Stay. Mine woke you once." He didn't need to remind her of how badly that had gone. He had no problem staying awake with her if it helped.   
   
The memory of being stabbed had faded with time, replaced by real trauma. He'd saved her then too, keeping her alive when she'd given up hope.   
   
"Ever go away?" She hadn't seen him wake in a rush like she remembered, not in the time she'd been free.  
   
"No." He couldn't soften the blow on that one. The nightmares had subsided, but he knew that just when he believed them to be gone, his brain would throw one at him just to make sure he hadn't forgotten. "Not really."  
   
She leaned into him a little; she didn't mean to but oddly, being close to Wolverine gave her a sense of comfort, something she hadn't had in a long time. At least she knew if the nightmares woke her in a cold sweat he would be there to make her feel safe.   
   
Logan knew better than to promise her anything anymore. The world was too unpredictable for that. Though he'd promised her once he'd take care of her when the world was more stable and he'd failed back then, he did promise himself that he would do what he could to help her now.    


* * *

   
Waking again later, Rogue snuggled back into his body. Wolverine was warm and cozy while her comforter was still strapped to her pack too far away. She liked the added warmth he provided as they only had the blanket he'd thrown over them after she'd fallen asleep.  
   
She burrowed further back into him and was surprised by a rumbling sound emitting from his chest. Pausing a moment she thought it over. She'd heard him growl before, but this wasn't quite the same; this reverberated nicely through her body. She wondered if she could get him to repeat it.   
   
Logan did repeat it for her and even placed a hand on her hip pulling her ass tight into his groin, pushing his hardened flesh into her curves. He then snaked his hand under her shirt so he could roll a nipple between his fingers. She let out a small gasp and he leaned in, muttonchop scraping along her neck.   
   
"Is that what you wanted?" he whispered in her ear.   
   
She nodded, feeling the need beginning to build beyond the first pleasant sensations. His hands always elicited those feeling in her that she'd buried. All day long she would go around like a machine, but at night, under the ministrations of his hands, she felt alive.  
   
Each time they'd been together, she'd zipped straight from the first touch to orgasm and tonight was no different. It left his head spinning; he needed to work on slowing her down once they made it to the group's final destination. Show her there was pleasure in taking it slow, in waiting for the payoff.   
   
As it was, she'd kicked off her pants and was working at the buckle of his belt. He'd thought earlier tonight with the subtle change in Marie's scent, it would be best to avoid this. However, he should've known once they started down this road it would happen. Her hand was already wrapped around his throbbing cock, pulling him on top of her.    
   
She'd been in control to this point and maybe he could slow them down a little and draw this out for her. He sank into her, taking his time until she fully engulfed him. Resting a moment, he leaned down for a kiss making it as slow and soft as his entrance into her, letting her trail her hands across his chest.   
   
Only when she grew impatient and began to wiggle beneath him did he start a slow pace. He knew when he wasn't kissing her; she was studying him. Her hands, traveled up and down his body examining the movement of every muscle.   
   
Her fingers tightened on his biceps, no longer searching his body. She'd begun to move with him, searching for something else and he stopped. She opened her eyes and huffed at him, then moved her hands to his butt to encourage him to continue.   
   
Rogue was beginning to understand that smirk that was gracing his face. She also knew he was trying to slow her down, but she couldn't help herself. Once he started touching her, she felt good and for a few minutes; he made her feel great. She just wanted to get to those blissful moments with him.   
   
He must have sensed her frustration because the smirk turned into a soft smile and an even softer kiss. This time his rhythm was meant to satisfy. When everything was over, she lay breathless under him, heart beating wildly. She didn't care to control it either; she wanted him to know how he affected her.    
   
Finally, she got to watch him finish. He thrust a few more times, teeth clenched, heart pounding just as rapidly as hers had. It was only after, that she realized he'd come, his cock pulsing hot and wet on her belly.    
   
When he'd gained control of his breathing, he reached for his pack and pulled out one of the hotel towels. He cleaned her up, and she put her pants back on and let him pull her back down to lay with him.  
   
The last few days they'd been on the move, leaving the city behind. During the march, she'd thought about what to get Wolverine. Maybe this would do. He seemed to like to curl up with her, holding her while they slept. Intimacy wasn't something she was familiar with even before the labs, even now the concept of it was strange to her, but she would try for him.   
 

* * *

   
The next afternoon they made it to their intermediate destination outside the city. They were headed north, toward Westchester and the mansion. The war was over, there had been little fighting for months, but Washington had officially ended the enforcement of anti-mutant policies and new protection laws had been passed.  
   
Their group was meeting up with another group as they headed back. It had been decided that they would return in a way that wouldn't draw too much attention like a jet flying all over retrieving 'soldiers'. They were only refugees trying to make their way to a friendly place.  
   
Everyone was busy even if only picking up kindling or carrying firewood. One of the older women with blue eyes had found that Rogue was handy with a needle and set her up with a pile of things to mend after showing her how to pull thread from one of the hotel sheets someone had brought. Actually, Rogue liked the work, it was simple enough to keep her hands busy but allowed her to observe all that happened as the camp was set up.  It didn't hurt that she was on a slight rise overlooking most of the encampment where everyone would leave her alone.   
   
Just before supper, a stirring at the far side caught her attention. A man was escorted in to talk to Wolverine. She thought she should know the man; he was about her age and fire came to her mind, but she didn't know if it had anything to do with him. After a few minutes, Wolverine and the man left the way the man had come.   
   
As she was bringing the mending back to the blue-eyed woman (she had a name and Rogue tried to remember it) Wolverine and the other man came back trailed by a dozen or so young teenagers. Wolverine had a quick word with the second in command and the new group was fed. She was sure Wolverine was making other arrangements for them, like where they would sleep and who would keep an eye on them.  
   
Wolverine finally joined her as she pulled threads from the sheet and wound them around a bare stick for use later. She didn't need to ask, he would tell her what if anything was important. Putting away her project, she moved over to sit beside him as he ate.  
   
Rogue leaned her head on his shoulder and rubbed his thigh with her hand. She'd practiced making her movements smooth and gentle like his. She must have been somewhat successful because he smiled at her, even with his mouth full. When he put down his empty plate, she widened her pattern to include his inner thigh and closer to his groin.   
   
Logan put an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Not tonight, Darlin'. Got recon to do." He had to grin when Marie didn't stop rubbing, probably just practicing now.  
   
"Don't trust?" she asked.  
   
"Pyro?" He never figured that particular kid as stupid, but Logan preferred to verify his story. "Has to earn it."  
   
She nodded. Wolverine trusted few people completely, and those he did had worked hard for that trust. She was unsure what made him place his trust in her. She spared a glance over to the new arrivals. "Kids?"  
   
"Ain't seen them before, but he wanted them to stay even if he couldn't."  Logan stood and stretched. The group had arrived with only the clothes they had on and an eye on their back trail. He wanted to make sure there wasn't a certain egomaniac hanging about.  
   
Rogue stood up next to him. He looked at her, affection for her clearly written on his face. He played with the white strand in her dark hair a moment before pulling her in for a kiss. It was all too brief, but she knew a longer kiss would lead to sex and he had responsibilities. She settled for her awkward smile as he disappeared.    
 

* * *

   
Sometime in the middle of the night, Rogue had felt Wolverine lay down and she moved over to share her comforter with him. Now she was trying to figure out how to scoot out from under his arm without waking him. It was early morning and she couldn't sleep; she could at least get the coffee started for everyone. Then she realized he wasn't asleep, not really.  
   
"Gotta pee," she told him. He harrumphed but lifted his arm.  
   
When she had her boots pulled on he rolled over and he mumbled sleepily about coffee. She didn't answer; he knew she'd bring it. Probably would even bring something to eat if he was patient.   
   
The blue-eyed woman from yesterday was at the big cook fire, coffee already percolating.  One of the men was there too, cutting meat from a deer carcass hung in a tree. The blue-eyed woman was frying the meat on a large sheet of roofing tin that had been cleaned up. Rogue quietly poured coffee and held out a plate for some meat when the blue-eyed woman beckoned her.   
   
"Send some of that backstrap up to Wolverine, he brought the deer in," the carving man said.   
   
The woman moved around the tin and forked up a large piece of meat onto Rogue's plate. "Come back later, honey, and you can help me smoke what’s left."  
   
Rogue simply nodded before leaving. She’d thought about trying out her smile but the woman had been nice and she didn't want to scare her. More importantly, she was already puzzling over Wolverine again. He'd done his scouting and then, still thinking of his group, he'd hunted for them. She knew in the city and its outskirts, he'd taught the kids to set rabbit snares.   
   
Rabbit wasn't a lot for a group of two dozen or more, but it was always a welcome addition and made the kids feel important.  So much so that the kids had set snares almost immediately upon their arrival in the area. They'd even begged Wolverine to show them how to catch the fish they'd seen in the stream.   
   
Wolverine put a lot of time into making sure his group was well run. The fire man would have to work hard to gain his trust. All of that led to the question once again, why did Wolverine trust her? 


	5. Chapter 5

Wolverine had been avoiding her the last two days, only laying down with her when she'd fallen asleep and not being alone with her but for short periods of time. Rogue was perplexed, maybe she'd done something to make him mad. But he gave no indication otherwise that there was a problem.  
   
Looking at him on the other side of the campfire, nothing was amiss. He glanced at her and she could see the desire in his eyes. It was the same every time he was near, she'd hear him inhale her scent (she was doing nothing to hide her need), yet he hadn't touched her in all that time, not for sex.   
   
She wanted him so badly it made her head hurt. The wait was making all those buried feelings swirl around and get jumbled until she didn't know what to feel. It had been easier when she had sought him out for just sex, back when she was only seeking an escape from the pain and discomfort of her life. Now that she slept next to him, ate her meals with him, let him into her life, Rogue felt she needed to be more than what she'd become in the lab...and she didn't think she was capable of that.   
   
Logan watched her walk away from the fire. He knew she was frustrated; he was too. Marie smelled so delicious all the time now, and he knew it was because she no longer concealed her body's response to him being close. It was driving him crazy. However, there was a need to be careful, something they should talk about, a talk he never thought he'd be having.  
   
When he joined her later, she didn't scoot over to share the comforter, instead, her dark eyes followed his every move. He tried to gather her up and hold her close, but she didn't want to lay idly next to him. She was none too subtly working her hands up under his shirt. It might be best to slacken some of her need, to let her know things between them were still fine. And there he was rationalizing again as his body was already responding to her scent and touch.   
   
Rogue was hopeful when he didn't stop her from touching him, but those other feelings were swirling below the surface. She knew she wasn't being gentle like she'd planned, her movements were hard and full of need. He tried to kiss her, but she turned her head letting him trail his mouth down her neck. The tenderness had a purpose, and she liked it yet right now she needed the connection with Logan that only sex provided. Her hand skimmed lower over his groin to find him already hard.  
   
He realized his mistake when his fingers found the waistband of her pants. They were right back to their original encounters with how quickly she shucked her pants and was working at his. Any planning he did with her would have to be done with more forethought than he'd given this.    
   
All that went out the window as he entered her. Marie was hot and so, so slick, and he thrust up to meet her as she descended. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise but she was close to the edge and it didn't phase her. There was no slowing her tonight, not that he wanted to. She was still studying him, eyes on his searching for something when she began to tremble. He tightened his grip on her hips knowing his timing needed to be precise.   
   
Her eyes slid shut, and she rode him through the convulsions, making only the smallest of sounds. That was all it took, and he had the presence of mind to lift her, freeing himself before he came. He thought he'd heard her huff, but the blood was pounding in his ears.   
   
Rogue sat back on his thighs examining him. She was missing something; he seemed to enjoy the sex as much as ever yet he was changing it. It should be inconsequential but it set her feelings churning again.   
   
He reached for his pack and she got off his legs. She kept her back to him as she dressed, feeling the need for privacy to sort out the reasons for this change. She heard him finish buckling his belt and didn't resist when he reached for her but she wouldn't face him.   
   
Logan settled for spooning into her, holding her securely as if she would leave. This was only going to escalate if they didn't talk. How did he do this without sounding like a self-serving jerk that was making decisions for her?  He let the moment pass as Marie drifted off to sleep.   
 

* * *

   
The camp had settled into a routine when the other group they were waiting for arrived. First, a woman with white hair landed at the edge of camp and talked with Wolverine before flying away. A half-hour later people filtered in to join the camp. Some of them looked familiar and Rogue knew she needed to start paying attention to names if she was going to live with them.   
   
She watched with interest from where she tended the fire. They were the usual batch of ragtag survivors, not in as good a shape as Logan's group but nowhere near as bad as the kids that showed up the other day. There was one that grabbed her attention, not the way a blue furry scientist would but she couldn't decide if it was because he was gold or the way he was checking out the people.   
   
Hearing her name being called she looked up from the cook fire, forgetting about the gold guy. A petite woman Rogue's age was walking toward her waving. Rogue took a few steps toward her, trying to bring up a name to go with the woman. They'd been in school together, but the rest was unclear. For a moment she thought the woman was going to hug her, but the bundle slung across her front prevented that and the woman took Rogue's hands instead, squeezing them lightly.   
   
No one touched Rogue but Wolverine and she almost panicked until the woman's bundle moved. Rogue's attention was drawn to the bundle, and she forgot her nervousness.   
   
"Want to see?" the woman asked.   
   
Rogue nodded eyes glued to the opening in the fabric, not knowing what to expect. To her surprise, it was a baby, curled up and sleeping. Rogue blinked and several things clicked in her brain at once. The first thought she set aside for later, the second thought needed to be dealt with right away.    
   
A response was expected, and she said the first word she could remember that made her feel good. "Beautiful."  
   
The woman beamed. "I think so too. Piotr says she's the smallest human he's ever seen."  
   
Rogue looked to where the woman pointed.  A big man stood talking to Wolverine. He was taller and broader in the shoulder than Wolverine and would tower over both Rogue and the woman she was with.   
   
As the two women walked toward the men, Rogue turned the thought from earlier over in her mind while the other woman chatted happily. Rogue had learned she herself was a better listener than a talker and most people didn't mind as long as she nodded along. It gave her more time to observe them and their interactions.    
 

* * *

   
Everyone was settled in and it was decided that they would remain in the current camp for a few days, letting the new arrivals rest before heading on north. When they did move out it was hoped, if all went well, they would reach Xavier's within a week.   
   
Rogue lay awake waiting for Logan to finish his evening duties. They needed to talk, something she didn't do much of. She suspected he'd tried, but she'd always had only one thing on her mind. She needed to quit living in this daze that shut everyone out. It left her little better than a robot and she would need these people if she were to survive long term.   
   
Eventually, Logan made his way to where she'd bedded down. She snuggled up to him, laying her head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest after covering them with the comforter. She didn't know how to start this conversation or any conversation but the fact remained, he'd given their relationship more consideration than she had. Until now she didn't know if she'd even thought of it as anything more than a connection with him that she exploited to feel good.  
   
That scientist woman might have been right, this was inappropriate. Rogue wasn't ready for this and because of that, she'd laid an extra responsibility at his feet. One that a normal couple would discuss and come to a decision about together. But until that moment she hadn't even thought of them as a couple.    
   
"Logan?"   
   
Pulling her closer, he placed his hand on hers. It was the first time she'd used his name, anyone's name, and he needed to give her time to say what was on her mind. He grunted in reply, letting the silence stretch out.   
   
Babies, she knew how they were made, even recalled a long-forgotten class on that subject. They'd certainly done enough of the required activity to create one. But only the last few times had Logan changed his behavior to prevent that from happening. It was something that hadn't even dawned on her until today.   
   
"Scientist was right."  
   
Logan looked at her, puzzled. Jeannie? She was an educated woman to be sure, but he didn't see how anything she'd told him, none of which he relayed to Marie, had any relevance to their relationship. "How so?"   
   
"Using you."   
   
Logan couldn't help himself and began chuckling at the thought of her taking advantage of him. If she was using him for sex, he was entirely complicit in the fact. He felt her stiffen beside him and brought his laughter under control.  Kissing the top of her head, he soothed her. "Darlin', I'm pretty sure she meant it the other way around."   
   
Picking her head up, she looked at him, her brow scrunched up in confusion. "Using me?" Slowly she shook her head. "No."  
   
Frustration and anger were bubbling up at not finding the words to explain. He was dismissing it, which was generous seeing as how their relationship was heavily one-sided. "Depend on you...then mad at you..." She tried tamping down the anger to clear her mind.   
   
He lifted his head and kissed her. "It's okay." But he could see that answer hadn't satisfied her. She looked perturbed with herself and at him for taking this lightly.  
   
Rogue sat up, to watch him better and get a sense of his reactions. There was a saying she remembered hearing when she was young. "Unequally yoked."  
   
"We're not exactly a team of oxen." He smiled up at her but understood, she thought he was at a disadvantage being with her. "Don't mind you relying on me."  
   
She had watched the woman with the bundle and knew she herself wasn't ready for a baby; sometimes it felt like she couldn't make it on her own. Having a little person that depended on her, wanted to hear her voice or see her smile…no, Logan had made a good decision for them both. She just wished he didn't have to make it on his own.  
   
Something else came to her, she'd heard people around camp throw the words around as if they understood what it meant. "Love me?"  
   
He paused a moment; it wasn't something he'd spent a long time thinking about. "Yeah, I do."  
   
"How do you know?" She could feel the anger drain from her and it made the words come easier, flow better.  
   
"Didn't know at first." How could someone pinpoint the moment they knew they loved another? When did his caring for her turn to love? Thinking back, it was there when she was taken, and there had been other feelings further back.  
   
The war had been long, and he'd known others that had been put in camps or labs. Marie was the only one he would have gone to the lengths he did to find. The only one he'd gathered the intel on by himself, the only one whose rescue he didn't leave to a team effort.   
   
"What if I don't love you?" Rogue had to ask, those people said it to one another all the time. Surely he'd want to hear her say it and he'd know if she lied.   
   
He turned that over in his mind for a moment; his time in the lab was almost two decades ago. Coming out of the lab he'd been closer to feral than any time he could remember. Things hadn't exactly been black and white. "Do you care for me?"  
   
"Don't hate you." She shrugged. "All mixed up." Frustration never seemed to be far from the surface; pain, anger, self-loathing, regret, were all readily available so that she couldn't tell happiness or contentment from the others. Except when Logan was near; his presence allowed her the strength to separate them out, to keep the negative ones at bay. "The others-"  
   
He put a finger to her lips. "We're not them. Need to find our own way." Pulling her back down he tried to rub soothing circles on her back. Every day he saw the frustration in her at not being able to process her feelings. So much so she wasn't even aware of the little things she did for him that showed she cared. "You just let me know when you hate me."  
   
She nodded, resting a little easier. There should be more feelings, sometimes they tried to surface when she was with him, but she couldn't grab hold of them. She didn't think there would ever come a time when she would hate him. Remain indifferent, that was too harsh; there was a fondness buried somewhere that constantly drew her to him. She would never hate Logan. 


	6. Chapter 6

The days were hotter than when they began the final trek to the mansion. The previous week had been spent smoking meat and resting. Their numbers increased as a small group of refugees from the city joined them.   
   
That gold guy still drew her interest as he continually circled everyone. She thought maybe he was looking for someone in particular. It wasn't uncommon for the groups to inquire among each other for friends and family they hadn't seen. Eventually, she forgot about him as camp life settled into a noticeable routine and she became busy again.    
   
Several times the woman with the bundle,...K something, had asked Rogue to hold the baby. Rogue had refused until the night before when the bundle was asleep and the woman needed to relieve herself. It was only a few minutes, and the baby slept peacefully. The whole experience brought odd feelings to the surface and Rogue gladly handed the bundle back.    
   
When they moved out she walked mostly by herself, occasionally with others, as Logan spent his time scouting ahead. In the early morning, she'd walked with Kitty and her baby. Huh, just like that she remembered a name.     
   
Rogue pondered the experience of holding the baby as she walked in the afternoon heat. Logan would be an excellent father, but she didn't think it would make up for her deficiencies. She wondered how long it would be before he sought out a woman that could be a good mother. She couldn't decide how that made her feel because all her feelings got swirled around and anger rose up.     
   
Rogue had taken off her jacket, baring her arms despite their appearance. With the warmer weather she'd noticed others with scars, not as extensive as hers, but enough that no one would say anything to her.   
   
Sometimes in the afternoon, the gold guy started walking with her. Though she'd seen him around camp, she didn't pay much attention to him after they began walking again. He seemed intent on talking to her and she let him, nodding occasionally every now and then. He didn't seem to care that she wasn't really interested and was thinking of other things. She knew Logan was watching her and the gold guy when they came into the night camp, but he never said anything about it. 

Later, she noticed Logan's agitation. He seemed short with the others and frustrated with plans being discussed. When he ate with her he was terse in what little he said and almost hovering over her. She didn't mind the closeness, but it wasn't something he normally did. She wondered if he was holding his tongue until they were alone and she tried to think if there was something she'd done even though she hadn't seen him all day. Maybe it was the group or their route that was causing issues?   
   
When she had them both tucked in under the comforter, she thought about it again. Rogue decided though she didn't like discussing feelings, it seemed better to head off problems before they became too big.   
   
"Mad at me?"  Simple and direct was always best for them.  
   
"No," Logan said, squeezing her hip. He hadn't realized that he'd let his mood carry over to her. It wasn't her he was eagle-eyeing, it was that Foley guy. Something about him didn't sit right, he reminded Logan of a shark on the hunt.   
   
Rogue knew there was nothing she could do to fix other problems for him. Her abilities were limited there and she best leave that to him. However, there was a way to ease his tension. "Make ya feel good?"   
   
He chuckled at her. That indeed she would, he had no doubt with the way she was touching him lightly. She began wiggling her way down his body when he stopped her. She'd already unfastened his belt and her hot breath on his belly was making him hard.   
   
Carefully he hauled her back up until he could kiss her full on the mouth. She pulled back, tugging at his lower lip. Looking up at her, he thought he saw a small pout forming. "Long day tomorrow," he said trying for some unknown reason to find an excuse, which was difficult with the scent of her hanging heavy between them.   
   
Rogue let a leg fall to either side of his body. "Healing factor," she stated, kissing her way back down his body. She liked the way he shuddered when she touched him a certain way low on his groin.   
   
Why was he trying to hold back, he thought as her warm mouth enveloped his hardened flesh. His hips were moving with her and he wanted to take all the pleasure she could give him and then some. Instead of letting her do as she pleased he felt the urge to hold her there, to take her in a way that would only satisfy his needs. The sex was liable to be demanding and he didn't know if she was ready for that; he was feeling the urge to mark her and he knew that was something she didn't need. "Marie, stop," he hissed through clenched teeth.   
   
Stopping, she glanced up at him, big innocent eyes question him. Sighing, she crawled back up and studied him. It had better be worth it cause she was wanting to feel good too.  
   
"Need sleep." It slipped out before the real reason could and it was a lame excuse. He winced a little at the white lie, here he was making another decision for her that she was more than capable of understanding. He would need to work on being blunter with her in the future if they were going to make this work.   
   
She looked at him skeptically. He knew exactly how fast their slowest person walked and she knew that was what set the pace every day. Though she found it interesting that he cared that she might be overly tired in the morning. It also crossed her mind that there might be another reason he was giving a dumb protest, possibly one he wasn't comfortable sharing at the moment. "Quick?"  
   
He snorted, she was good at quick and he'd lost any desire to continue his charade as she began running her hands up and down his chest. "Okay," he said in resignation.  
   
Rogue had already rolled to her side away from him to take off her pants. He turned to her and pressed his cock into the soft curve of her ass. It amused her a little that for all his hesitation he was just as eager to have sex as she was. She quit struggling with her pants as his hand snaked around from her hip to tangle in her curls. 

He'd pushed his cock lower between her thighs and was now rubbing the head against her opening. She didn't care for this position; she liked to see him when they had sex. There was still some uncertainty in her about what they were doing and how she made him feel. She could gauge their interactions better when she could watch for clues.   
   
Logan could feel the unease Marie had with this position. It wasn't a physical fear but ambiguity of facing away from him, not being able to judge his reactions. He needed to reinforce the idea that she could trust him, that he did love her and wanted to be with her.   
   
Rogue thought she would simply wiggle around, that was until the first kiss on the back of her neck right on top of a scar. Pausing she let him continue and he proved how well he'd paid attention to her as he continued applying a kiss to every scar on her back through her shirt. They were soft, reassuring kisses and she felt the stirring of emotions, not the usual anger or numbness but something else, just as strong, that centered on her thoughts of Logan. Readjusting her position, she guided him inside her.   
   
He held her loosely from behind, one hand fondling a breast the other sliding across her wet folds. She grabbed hold of his arms, letting him do as he pleased as long as he continued kissing her scars. This brought up feelings in her she wasn't aware she possessed anymore and she quickly pushed them aside in fear that they might overwhelm her.    
   
Her thoughts were lost in the rhythm he set, his fingers expertly working her clit.  The coarse hair of his sideburns tickled her skin through her thin shirt as he worked his way up her shoulder nibbling now. He paused at her ear, breathing heavily. "Marie," he whispered, low and full of need.  
   
Logan needed to know she was okay with this. He wasn't waiting, couldn't wait for her to finish. The need to be gentle and the need to fill her, to make her his, were warring in his body. Control was not something in his grasp at that moment.   
   
She might have heard the strain in his voice if she weren't already convulsing around him. Or might have felt him slamming into her if she weren't already distracted by her own orgasm.   
   
When she came back to herself he was clinging to her, breath stirring the small hairs on her neck. Even this, the way he was with her, so careful and thoughtful with her, made her think again of the feelings that wouldn't stay buried any longer.   
   
They'd talked of his feelings for her and that she was okay with things the way they were. She wondered if this was how love started, how it grew. Being willing to do something for another even if it wasn't your first choice, doing it for them simply because they wanted it.   
   
If that was the case, how much longer would he be okay with their current arrangement? Because even in this she was still being selfish. She was willing to admit she sought him out, stayed with him because he made her feel good, that without what he did for her, she might not stay with him. Logan still deserved better than that.   
 

* * *

   
The next couple of days as they walked Rogue tried not to encourage the gold guy. He continued to seek her out and talk to her during the day and she didn't know how to make him stop. She didn't really care if it wasn't him it would be someone else, but the gold guy's presence irritated Logan and she didn't like that.   
   
That was interesting in and of itself, she didn't want to do anything to intentionally irritate Logan. In fact, she had found herself trying to make things with him smoother. It was difficult but often just a few words of conversation seemed to help their relationship if she could call it that.   
   
Like this thing with the gold guy. She could ignore it, play oblivious to the problem. But that would eventually create more tension and that wasn't fair to Logan. Withdrawing like she used to wouldn't solve anything either.   
   
At the group's brief nooning, Logan came in to eat with her. He didn't usually come in for food when they were on the march, but this morning Marie had been puzzling over something. Just a few minutes with her wouldn't hurt if she needed a sounding board.   
   
"My scars," she finally started. He nodded taking a drink of water. She frowned, "Get rid of them?"  
   
Taking another bite of jerky, he gave her some time. Foley had finally gotten around to telling her what he wanted to do. Logan, himself, gave little thought to the scars anymore; Marie's scars were a part of her. He would love her with or without them. After a time he prompted, "That what you want?"    
   
Rogue shrugged, her scars just were, much like the rocks that they walked around. Occasionally, bothersome, but always there. Logan never seemed bothered by the scars, but then again they never talked about them. "You?"  
   
"Not my decision," he replied honestly. She gave him an expectant look. This was the first time she'd indicated she needed him to express an opinion about her scars and he felt the need to oblige.   
   
Turning to her, he put a finger under her chin to hold her attention. "Love you, Marie. Don't matter how you look or feel." He emphasized his point with an all too brief kiss on her lips.    
   
She blinked at this display of affection where others could see it. Logan didn't do this kind of thing, sure he'd ruffled the hair of the smaller kids or patted the older ones on the back for a job well done. The adults received a nod of approval or sometimes a word of verbal confirmation.   
   
Other couples held hands, hugged or even kissed in plain sight of the group. Rogue and Logan, though, kept any of that for private, as private as you could get in their situation. The only thing you might see them do was to eat together like now or sit next to one another. She was sure only a few had been observant enough to know that they were more intimate than that.   
   
She nodded in acknowledgment and let all of this new awareness of them as a couple sink in. Now she needed to decide what she was going to do about the gold guy. She already knew the answer was no, the scars were superficial and Logan was okay with them. "Won't fix..." she trailed off and ended up just tapping her head for lack of words.   
   
Logan understood that. Sometimes the deepest scars and imperfection would never be seen by other people. What was 'ailing' Marie no longer had a physical manifestation that Foley could 'mend'. Her healing would be a matter of her wanting to move forward herself.   
   
Giving her a kiss on the forehead, he stood up; there was little time for this, no matter how badly they needed to talk, until they reached their destination. The rest period was over and it was time to get the group moving again.   
   
Rogue watched him go. It fascinated her that just this gesture of continuing the trek from him was all the encouragement the group needed to finish their meal and head out.   
   
Logan paused and turned back to her. "If you need me," he hitched his thumb toward the direction they would be heading.   
   
She nodded and gave him one of her smiles. Picking up her bag as a method of dismissing him, she appreciated the sentiment. It took a bit for the smile to drop from her face. She couldn't remember the last time she knew without a doubt someone had her back. Logan wanted the best for her.    
 

* * *

   
The gold guy found her shortly after the group was on the move. Rogue let him stay, waiting for him to bring up the subject so she could say no. Not just no on the healing of her skin, but that she didn't want his company.   
   
"So about your skin-" he began.  
   
She cut him off, "No." It was as forceful as she could make it.   
   
He looked a little confused, almost like no one turned him down. Then he smiled, "It'll only take a couple of minutes."   
   
His persistence bothered her. Shouldn't he be offering to help the little kid with the broken arm or the elderly lady that limped? Stopping, she turned to him as he came to a standstill beside her. Rogue tried to imitate Logan's raised eyebrow, that gesture usually got answers from people.   
   
He pointed toward a place away from the others. "We can go right over there and afterward..." he raised both eyebrows like there was something else she was supposed to pick up on. The guy gave her an incredulous look when she didn't respond, almost like he'd drawn a picture and she couldn't see what was obvious to everyone else. "Then you can show me some gratitude."   
   
Rogue narrowed her eyes at him as he thrust his hips at her. This was the thing that set Logan on edge about the gold guy. She didn't know if Logan knew specifically what the guy was trying to do, but his instincts about the guy had been right.   
   
Balling up her fist, knowing she wasn't following any training she'd ever been given a lifetime ago, Rogue punched the gold guy in the nose. He let out a high-pitched squawk as he fell to the ground, hand flying to his face. She stood above him, fist still clenched. Surprisingly she felt calm, no big swirl of emotions. "No!"  
   
They were beginning to attract attention, several small groups of people slowing to stare at the spectacle. The guy glanced around, embarrassment making his face turn red despite his gold color. Turning back to her, he pulled his hand away full of blood. "What'd you do that for?"  
   
Finally Rogue felt the anger rising, "You're..." She pushed the feeling down, searching for the calm but she couldn't find it. This guy, after everything; the war, labs, camps, death and destruction, he was trying to use people for sex. The words came in a rush and she let them spill out, "Fucked in the head."   
   
Without another word she walked away, head held high. She was readjusting her pack when she noticed Logan surveying the scene from a distance. There was a smile on his face as he watched her. She knew with his senses he'd probably honed in on the commotion and heard everything.   
   
Pride, something she hadn't felt in forever, rose up inside of her. It may have taken her a while, but she handled this problem herself and apparently to Logan's satisfaction. Not that she was going to start decking random guys, but it felt good. She'd taken control of the situation and taken back a little bit of power in her life.


	7. Chapter 7

By the end of the week, the group took its first steps onto Xavier's property. Precautions were taken as they were supposed to be refugees and they spent the first night on the edge of the property. The second day, people slowly trickled from the camp to the mansion.  
   
Rogue held back, apprehensive of what would be expected of her. Would they want the girl she'd been when she lived here? Would they expect her to fall right back into it?  She didn't think she could. Maybe she didn't want to be that girl anymore.   
   
Logan had been gone since before dawn and she decided it was best to head toward the mansion at noon. At lunch, he might want to eat with her and she didn't want to make him trudge all the way back to the camp. There were several tents set up outside the mansion and she didn't see him there.   
   
Though to be fair she saw the blue scientist and the red-headed scientist in one, so even if Logan had been at one of those tents she wouldn't know it. They were probably checking on those that had medical needs. Rogue had no issues she wanted to discuss with either of them so she steered clear of the tents.    
   
She made her way into the mansion and easily found her old room. It was pretty much as she'd left it. Most of the things held little interest for her, picking through them she took what she wanted along with some clothes. Taking her selections, she wandered up to Logan's old room on the next floor.   
   
His bag was just inside the door and she left hers next to it, placing her other belongings on the bed. There was hot water, so she stripped down to take a shower. Catching her reflection in the mirror, she stopped. Flicking on the light, she squinted and made a face-- she'd forgotten how bright that was-- and took a closer look.   
   
It didn't really matter, crisscrossed by scars or deadly to the touch. She wasn't sure which way she preferred it. No....she would choose the scars, that way she could touch Logan without worry. Perhaps that was sour grapes talking, but she didn't care.    
   
This time there was no reason to hurry with her shower, the water wasn't going to run out. The soap was something left over from before the war, but she didn't mind; she imagined that stuff never really went bad. Didn't matter as she was clean once again. Her hair wasn't what it once had been, however, it was slowly recovering along with the rest of her.   
   
Rogue stood at the foot of the bed for a long time. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had choices to make about clothing. In the end, she went with something she hadn't thought of in a while, a long skirt and peasant blouse; loose, floaty fabrics that didn't irritate her skin.   
   
Speaking of irritating, she'd never noticed all those years ago how noisy the mansion was. People coming and going, conversations down the hall, music in the next room. During the war people were careful with their noise, no banging things around or yelling down the way to others. She hadn't realized how comforting the quiet was.  
   
In camp, you could tell where people were and what was going on. Here it was a confusing jumble. Maybe that was why she hadn't known to run the first time. With all the noise, how would she know if they came for her again?   
   
Walking over to a window, she thought opening it might help. It just made her wish she was back outside. Maybe when the weather turned cold she would feel different, but right now being inside was all too much. 

* * *

   
Logan tracked her to a meadow out of sight of the mansion. She was lying on her back in the tall grass gazing up at the sky. For a moment he thought about letting her be, she'd obviously sought out this spot for a bit of solace.   
   
He'd let her have space when they arrived back. There was no need to push her into anything. He'd seen her come in, avoiding the medical tent. She'd found her way around the mansion, her clothes on his bed were evidence enough of that, but she hadn't stayed inside any longer than necessary. Now, he stood only a little way off in the trees keeping an eye on her.   
   
"Don't mind," she said, knowing he'd hear her. She appreciated him not just walking up to her, but she'd found some balance and was ready to be around others. Well, Logan at least.  
   
Laying down beside her, he watched the clouds float by. It'd been a long time since he'd been able to do this, take a break with no worries niggling at the back of his mind. This was nice; his woman, him and nature.    
   
"Gonna rain," he mentioned casually. He'd known it that morning, but even the less enhanced probably smelled it by now.   
   
Reaching over, Marie took his hand and held it. "Good," she said, then added, "Nice here."  
   
"The mansion?" he asked. They'd have to go back eventually, at least for the night, especially with the rain.  
   
She shrugged. "Too much..." He gave her time to collect her thoughts. Finally, she pressed on, "Noise, people."  
   
He fully understood that. There was a time he'd had to learn to blot out those things. "Confinement," he added.   
   
Rogue squeezed his hand lightly, it was in the oddest ways he brought her comfort. She believed it was because he put no great expectations on her, on them. She wondered if that was why they never quite fit this way before. Logan would have had to change himself to fit into her world, her expectations. Now she saw him for who he was and he didn't have to change a bit for her. Then again, it was possible she just wasn't ready back then.   
   
Turning to her side, she leaned over him wanting one of his soft kisses. She liked the connection they provided, the relief that he understood her. She hoped it conveyed her need for him, not only a sexual need but that she had feelings for him even if she couldn't articulate them.  
   
It was slow and languid, neither of them in a hurry. She played with the buttons on his shirt, a nice flannel one that he hadn't dared wear during the war. She liked that they could take their time, there was no need to rush, even with the approaching rain.   
   
Logan's hand slid up underneath her skirt. He followed the intersecting lines and patches, paying particular attention to the unmarred skin between them. This drew a moan from her and she became more insistent with her kissing.   
   
She pulled back, looking down at him. "Please."  
   
Carefully he rolled them so that she was on her back once more. His hand skimmed further up her thigh as she pulled up her shirt to expose her breasts.  He slowly licked one nipple until it peaked then did the same to the other. She squirmed under him as his fingers found her moist folds.   
   
She was already undoing his jeans, taking his hardened length in her hand. "Tell me," she whispered.  
   
"Love you," he mumbled around her nipple.   
   
Rogue stopped stroking him. "No." This time he looked up, hazel eyes questioning her.   
   
Taking a second, she thought about what she wanted. She was always observing, but she wanted to hear it from his point of view, to know what he felt.   
   
Slowly, she stroked him, "Hard, smooth."   
   
He let her pull him over on top of her, slicking his cock on her folds. Pushing into her, Logan stopped and swallowed hard. He didn't know how long he would last if he did this but she asked for so little from him. "Wet and so...so damn hot."   
   
She relaxed beneath him, closing her eyes and running a hand through his chest hair. He started a slow rhythm, "Slick, soft..." She clenched around his cock and he groaned. "Can hear how wet you are, your heart pounding."  
   
This was taking a toll on him. He was beginning to shake from the effort to maintain control. He licked at her throat, "Taste your sweat, my soap..." She wrapped her legs around his thighs creating more friction and he grunted.   
   
"Smell?" she prompted, knowing it might send him over the edge. She listened carefully trying to hear and smell those things with him.   
   
The rain began and rapidly picked up speed until it drenched them with its quietness. Logan could feel the drops running off of him onto Marie, but he continued on. "You, rain." He reached out further with his sense to restrain the building tension in his body. "Grass, earth, pines in the distance."   
   
Daring a glance at her, eyes still closed and a smile on her face, she was so beautiful. As if on cue her eyes fluttered open locking with his. He could see the urgency there and he ground into her. She made a whimpering, needy noise in reply and was suddenly convulsing around him, hooking her heels into him harder. Thrusting a final time, he filled her in a short series of spasms. 

They laid still entangled in the rain for a while longer. He finally broke away reluctantly, straightening their clothes; he picked the grass from her hair. "Ready to go back?" he asked. 

"Together?" she asked taking his hand. 

"Always, Darlin'," he answered. That small smile of hers appeared as they began walking toward the mansion becoming completely soaked by the rain. The smile didn't disappear, he took it as a good sign and he was determined to make this work for both of them.   
 

* * *

   
That night was spent in Logan's old room before moving their items to the top floor the next day. At one time Xavier had started the renovation of several rooms there but due to limited access and the war it was never finished. The rooms were probably some of the original Victorian-era servant's quarters, now stripped down to the studs with only the bathroom mostly finished.   
   
The space was quiet and away from the rest of the mansion, just the way Rogue liked it. One back staircase was the only easy access but it was enough. Some old furniture had been stored there, and it was in serviceable enough condition to set up the area to make it liveable.   
   
Neither she nor Logan minded the extra set of stairs to get to and from the rest of the mansion. After their living space was arranged, she decided it would be best to go down and find a 'job'. She surmised it would be much like camp where everyone was expected to pitch in and do what they could.   
   
Immediately, Rogue thought of Sally the blue-eyed lady.  She had been one that always found things that Rogue was capable of doing. It was with that thought that she found her in the kitchen area at breakfast.   
   
Sally greeted her with a touch on the arm and a cheery, "Morning."  
   
Rogue had seen Sally do this with others and guessed it was her way of doing things. She tried not to bristle at the touch and even thought it might be time to try out her smile. Sally returned the smile and Rogue figured they were off to a good start.   
   
"Boy, do I have a job for you," Sally said, motioning for Rogue to follow. "We'll leave the cooking to people better at it than I."  
   
This confused Rogue. Sally had taught her a lot about cooking in the camps. Looking back, she saw someone else directing everyone and Rogue wondered if Sally, like Rogue herself, preferred to not be in the middle of so much activity. Their camp 'kitchens' had usually consisted of only a few people.   
   
They made their way to the old gym which was currently housing all the donated items. It was mostly clothing and shoes the orphanage had been given but other items for the newer refugees were starting to arrive.   
   
Rogue's job was to unpack, wash, and sort the items. Sally rounded up a couple more women to help and they set about their task.   
   
She liked this work; the others were friendly and she could listen to their chatter without feeling the need to join in. She suspected she was hearing the most current news of the outside world, with a fair share of mansion gossip sprinkled in. They didn't mind that she remained silent, but they didn't act as if she weren't there either. Even though there seemed to be a mountain of items, she knew it wouldn't last forever yet she wished she could continue to work with these women indefinitely.   
   
It felt odd to want to belong. She thought maybe she wanted to belong to Logan too but dismissed that thought. This group of women fit a different need than he did. With him, there was something below the surface need to socialize, if what she was doing even counted as socializing. She hadn't been able to quantify her need for Logan yet.   
   
Rogue heard his footsteps as he came across the old wood floor. She hadn't thought about how distinctive his walk was before this, though she also knew he could be deathly silent too. Turning as he appeared at the far end of the clothes rack, she smiled. A warm feeling crept through her. Oddly, that only seemed to happen when he sought her out.   
   
The X-Men had been working on something the last few days and he hadn't kept a schedule of any kind. Now he was dressed in tactical gear. What caught her attention was that he didn't return her smile. Instead, his expression was very serious.   
   
"Gonna be gone for a while."  
   
"How long?" she asked. Before the mansion, it wasn't unusual for him to come and go at odd times. Since arriving, most mission times never amounted to much more than a handful of hours.   
   
"A week, maybe two." Logan didn't know why he was worrying. She had something to keep her busy and people that would look out for her, she wasn't helpless. He sighed; he was overprotective and needed to make sure not to smother her.   
   
She nodded. This was nothing new, so why was her stomach flip-flopping. "Others?" Maybe knowing more details would help settle whatever was wrong with her stomach.   
   
"Pyro," he said. The boy had really stepped up and was stealthy enough, never hesitating to engage the enemy when needed. "A couple other teams, need to confirm our intel before we proceed."  
   
Rogue thought she should tell him to be careful, but she knew he wouldn't be. Be safe was a waste of the telling. She went with the idea floating in her mind. "Come back."  
   
That earned her a lopsided grin. "Always, Darlin'. Always."  
   
A quick kiss and he was gone. She was left standing among the clothes wondering why she'd felt the need to cling to him. There had never been a need for any reassurance before. Obviously, she'd become too accustomed to his presence. She guessed that was only to be expected when they shared a space. 


	8. Chapter 8

In the month they'd been back at the mansion, this was the first time Rogue had made her way to the lower levels. She disliked the sleek walls, echoing halls and medical lab spaces. With no powers, there was no need to use the underground facilities at all. There were codes for her 'just in case', but she hadn't found a reason to be there.   
   
Apparently, there were still more labs and secret camps than previously thought. Logan had been gone a little over two weeks and she wanted to see him.  He would want to know that she was fine after surviving on her 'own', she wouldn't tell him about the sleepless nights. She only wanted to see the reassuring smile he'd have for her.   
   
He heard her step off the elevator, her scent wafting down the hall ahead of her. Usually, she waited for him to find her but he hadn't been away this long and he had to wonder how things went to drive her down to see him. He was on edge, adrenaline still coursing through his body; he liked to let it run out before he sought to be with Marie.    
   
Right now, the need to claim her rough and hard was too close to the surface. He'd been gone too long and needed to reassure himself that she was still his as his scent on her had faded. The adrenaline began to flow and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back. He thought he would wait until the need abated to a more controllable level, but her presence didn't give him that option.   
   
All Logan's senses were filled with her and her need. He could feel the lust trying to overtake him. A growl rose in his chest and he spared her a glance. "Leave."  
   
The carnal need lay heavy in his eyes and she understood why he wanted to send her away. She also knew that no matter what, this had to be dealt with before it created a chasm between them. "No."  
   
He didn't look at her again, but she saw him work the muscles in his jaw and repeatedly clench his fists, trying to drain some of the built-up aggression. Walking over to him she placed herself between him and the lockers, brushing her hand across his bare chest. "Need you."  
   
His eyes darkened if that was even possible, and he gave the last warning he could. "Marie," he ground out.   
   
The need in his voice made the heat pool between her thighs. She remembered him inhaling sharply before suddenly being grabbed and spun around so she was pinned to the wall. With no time to brace herself, she was unprepared for his forceful advance.   
   
Logan's mouth was demanding, stealing her breath away. His hands were sharp and hard, his undone belt buckle crushed the soft skin of her belly. She felt the panic rise and her automatic response to push all her feelings down, to bury them like she had back in the lab. As if sensing it, he pulled back, the self-loathing plain on his face and in the way his body slumped away from her.   
   
This had been what he'd been dreading. He would force her back into the shell she had once hidden in. That his lack of control would drive her away, his thoughtlessness would damage the parts of herself she'd cobbled back together. It would be best to walk now before he left a path of destruction in his wake.   
   
Successfully pushing the panic to the side she seized his waistband, afraid he'd leave. She knew now she wasn't a rogue; she'd looked up the definition when they came to the mansion and if she'd ever been any of those things, she wasn't any longer.   
   
She was simply Marie. Logan's Marie. That's who she wanted to be. He'd navigated his way back after having his humanity stripped, he'd be willing to help her overcome the loss too.   
   
"Stay," she pleaded. She could, no she would find a way around her insecurities. They'd been together this long, she didn't want to throw in the towel without trying. He deserved that much for all she'd put him through.   
   
His eyes focused on her, letting some of his tension and disgust with himself drain. She wasn't hiding away her emotions and her panic was mostly gone. If she was willing, he could work on his self-control for her.   
   
"Careful?" she inquired. She'd begun paying attention to her body's natural patterns again, but his heightened senses were always more accurate. It would be a time like this when they'd forget and have other issues to deal with later.   
   
Shaking his head slightly to clear it, he inhaled deeply of her scent to double check. They needed to be practical about things if they were going to proceed.   
   
She watched him focus, nostrils flaring, lip curling in satisfaction and for the first time she could remember a thrill went up her spine. The realization struck her that this was more than a relationship about comfort or feeling good. She also admitted she wasn't ready to deal with that yet.   
   
"No." Logan's firm answer brought her back to the situation at hand and how to deal with their desire without sending her into a panic. The logical first step was to take the edge off.  
   
He already had his boots off and his pants unzipped, so it was simple enough to push them down as she slid down the wall. His cock jutted out proudly and after tossing his pants on the bench, she took him in her mouth. Kneeling down for better balance, she began to move her tongue around the head.   
   
Breathe, he needed to breathe. In the months they'd been together Marie had paid particular attention to what he liked during sex and this was no different. She knew exactly what he liked, from the way she tugged his balls to scrapping her teeth lightly on the underside of his shaft. At least maybe if he passed out from this, it would calm the need coursing through his veins.   
   
The tension was building at the base of his spine; he tried not to move but she grabbed his ass compelling him to move in time to her mouth. If she was trying to dull his need, this wasn't working. He spared her a glance only to find her warm brown eyes studying his face.   
   
It wasn't his undoing, but that breath he needed was. He inhaled deeply filling his lungs with the scent of her desire. She refused to let him pull away and he felt her swallow as he started to come.  
   
Leaning heavily on the wall for support, he grappled with the urge to make this about him. For a moment he blocked his senses, letting him regain his control. He opened his eyes to her swollen lips holding her crooked little smile. No, this was definitely about them.   
   
Her fingers were already fumbling with the small buttons down the front of her shirt. He wanted nothing more than to pop the claws and slice through her clothing, to pin her up against the wall and pound into her. The appearance of her scars peeking through the opening of her shirt reminded him again to be gentle.    
   
Rogue could feel his desire reigniting, the tension building as if he were watching a show in slow motion when he knew the ending. This scared her in a different way. He wanted her, desired her when he could have any of the women living under the mansion's roof. It was something that had always been there but the adrenaline heightened it and he wasn't ashamed to let it show.  
   
It was obvious he was struggling with the pace she was setting. He reached out skimming his hand up her side to cup a breast before leaning in and taking a nipple into his mouth. Audibly she gasped which she knew would only spur him on. He'd already unfastened her pants and was pushing them down.   
   
By the time he'd kneeled down to rid her of her shoes, his movements were swift and decisive. She needed reassurance. "Slow."  
   
It wasn't really a command, but he nodded in acknowledgment of what she required.  After that his actions became deliberate, almost telegraphing his next move so she knew what he was planning. He added her pants to the growing pile of clothes and decided on a course of action he wouldn't normally take with the adrenaline high he was on. Lifting her leg, he hooked it over his shoulder and began a series of open-mouthed kisses up her inner thigh. Marie was normally rather quiet during sex partially out of necessity before they arrived at the mansion, but now she seemed to want to let him know how he was affecting her.   
   
She could feel the constant rumble emitting from Logan's chest reverberating through her. He was flooding her with sensations from the maddeningly slow pace she had asked for. The tickle of his facial hair and the leisurely way he drew his tongue across her clit caused her to make small throaty sounds. They weren't loud; she knew only he heard them but that was her intended target.   
   
Winding her fingers into his wild hair she let herself drift with the sensations. Nearing the edge, she moved her leg and pulled his head back and away from her body. "With you."  
   
The rumble turned into a growl when she interrupted his ministrations, yet he willingly kissed his way up her body as he stood. Carefully he lifted her up to cradle his hips with her heat, cautiously pushing into her. Without pausing he set a rhythm that made her moan. He made sure his grip was no tighter than necessary, firm but not crushing, encompassing her with his arms.    
   
She was watching him again, intently digging her fingers into his biceps as he kept to his slow torturous pace, grinding into her every time. He held her gaze until she closed her eyes and exposed her neck to him. The urge to bite down and mark her was hard to resist, but he compensated by tracing her jugular as it thrummed underneath the flat of his tongue.  
   
"It's okay," she panted out, his rhythm keeping her right on the precipice. He growled, shaking his head no.   
   
Marie knew he was fighting deep-seated instincts for her comfort. She didn't have the presence of mind to argue, instead; she guided his mouth back down to her neck. Bared teeth skidded down the column of her neck until his hot mouth found a resting place. The pressure he exerted made her light-headed, she forgot her earlier request and let herself succumb to the pleasure.   
   
Holding her still with his teeth, making sure that he didn't leave a lasting mark, he plunged into her. He was confident of his staying power until she called out his name as she convulsed around him. All the self-control, the slow rhythmic pace, came to an end as it exploded outward leaving him gasping for breath.   
   
He rested his sweaty forehead on her shoulder, listening to her heartbeat gradually return to normal. It surprised him that she made no move to disengage from him, rather she relaxed into him. Her hands smoothed down his neck and back in light caressing touches.  
   
She made a small noise he couldn't classify. When he backed away letting her slide down the wall, he caught her smile. It hadn't been a laugh by any means but she'd definitely found something amusing and he raised an eyebrow.   
   
"Shower?" she asked, averting her eyes a little.   
   
"You want to shower with me?" He needed the clarification before he let his mind race off with ideas. She nodded, a light pink shading her cheeks. Well, he'd be damned she was blushing. He took her hand and led her toward the showers, best take advantage of this while she was in the mood. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domino makes an appearance here. Not the fabulous Domino from Deadpool 2, but the comic version from X-Force: Sex & Violence.
> 
> * * *

"Darlin'?"  
   
Marie blinked, looking over to where Logan sat across the table from her. Zoned out again. She found herself doing it occasionally when she was trying to puzzle something out.   
   
"What's buggin' you?" Logan asked.  
   
He couldn't solve all of her problems but she appreciated that he helped talk her way through them. Though this one wasn't really her problem, it was someone else's. She glanced over at the table across the dining area and he followed her gaze.   
   
"Jubilee?" he inquired.  
   
She nodded. Jubilee had come back at the end of Logan's week away. Marie knew from the women she worked with that it was a mission that Pyro put together. Some camp that had been overlooked by the government because it was a 'factory'. Pyro had put all the intel together and convinced the X-Men to take it down.    
   
Jubilee had been one of those freed. She'd come back different and Marie knew that different. Jubilee had always been an opinionated extravert. Now she was brash in an overly annoying way. Unlike the old days, she hadn't even picked up old friendships or any friends at all.   
   
In a roundabout way, she reminded Marie of herself. Marie had gone the opposite direction, becoming almost robotic to deal with her pain. Jubilee had become a parody of herself and Marie was positive she was hiding her pain behind that.   
   
Logan watched Jubilee for a few seconds before turning back to Marie. "Gold guy," she said by way of explanation. She didn't need to explain her concern about Foley to him. Mostly Foley was kept too busy for any hijinks and they couldn't outright accuse him of anything because the incident with Marie was a he said-she said problem. Nothing solid and Foley could claim it was a misunderstanding.   
   
"Pretty sure Jubilee knows. She approached him." Logan could see the disappointment under Marie's usual flat expression, but he couldn't help Jubilee.   
   
Marie didn't like it when she couldn't solve a problem. There had to be something she could do to prevent Jubilee from being used. Having the gold guy fix something wasn't going to further Jubilee's efforts to find her footing.   
   
After breakfast Marie tracked down Jubilee, it wasn't hard. Some of the mansions gardens were overgrown from little use. The tall grass made it easy, that combined with a thing or two she'd picked up from Logan about tracking.  
   
She found them with the gold guy leaning up against a tree as Jubilee had begun to undo his pants. Remembering how good it felt to hit him before, she considered that but was uncertain of what Jubilee's reaction would be. Marie still had a hard time reading people's cues because it looked like Jubilee wanted to do this with him. Surely that was wrong, why would anyone want to be used?  
   
Marie decided to talk instead, that normally helped her and Logan. "Doesn't care," she stated when close enough.   
   
Jubilee's shoulders slumped a little but the gold guy made that squeaky noise Marie remembered from when she hit him. He tried to bolt, tripped, fell and floundered around before successfully fleeing.  
   
"Bastard, get back here. We had a deal!" Jubilee yelled after him. Exhaling loudly, she turned on Marie with a look of disgust. "What did you do that for?"  
   
"Using you," Marie sputtered out, feeling her emotions start to swirl. "Doesn't care," she repeated.  
   
"Well, duh," Jubilee was almost shouting. "That was the point. Handjob for dopamine high."   
   
Marie understood now. There were a couple of people the women talked about. One was being treated for addiction, another still trying to hide it. They had chosen a different path from Marie to deal with their troubles.   
   
"Still there later," Marie insisted.   
   
Jubilee made a sound somewhere between a yell of anger and one of frustration. She began stomping around muttering and kicking at clumps of grass, all the while waving her arms about. Marie simply stood there waiting for her to run out of steam; she'd started this and needed to finish it.  
   
Eventually, Jubilee kicked at one of the old, decorative rock walls before plopping down with a huff. Joining her, Marie sat with her in silence. Marie could feel the other girl working up to something.   
   
"What the hell do you know anyway?" Jubilee burst out. "You were safe with Wolvie the whole time."  
   
Calm. That was what Logan always showed her when she was angry. He also listened, and she needed to do the same for Jubilee.   
   
Marie slowly shook her head. "Lab," she offered quietly. Jubilee looked at her in disbelief and Marie knew she hadn't seen the scars.   
   
The morning had been cool and she'd worn a long sleeve shirt. Unlike the time Marie had wanted to shock the red-headed scientist, she only wanted Jubilee to understand she wasn't alone.   
   
Cautiously she raised her shirt to show the other girl the scars that covered her torso. Jubilee reached out but paused. Marie gave her an awkward smile. "Mutation b...burned out," she stuttered.   
   
Jubilee pulled Marie's shirt out a little further. "All over?"  
   
Nodding in confirmation, Marie tried not to flinch at the touch. Only two people had touched her up to now that hadn’t made her panic, one was Logan and the other was Sally with the briefest of contacts. Marie finally pulled down her shirt and notice the change in Jubilee.   
   
All the anger and frustration had drained away. When Jubilee spoke, Marie could tell that the brash behavior had been put to the side also. "I'm a heel," Jubilee admitted with defeat.   
   
"No," Marie argued, "You're hurting." She saw the tears run down Jubilee's cheeks.   
   
"My whole team," she said through sniffles. "Killed, except me."  
   
"Surviving's easy part," Marie said calmly. Feeling something in herself loosen.   
   
There was no holding back the flood of tears then. Jubilee hugged Marie, clinging to her and babbling about her team. For a moment Marie almost panicked at the loss of what to do. Until she stopped thinking of what to do and hugged her back, letting Jubilee say and cry all she needed.   
   
One soaked shirt later, Jubilee wiped away the last of her tears. "Now what?" she asked. "How are you doing it?"  
   
Marie shrugged, "Logan." That was all there was to it. If it wasn't for him, she'd still be on the fringe of the group trying not to drown in the interactions of others.   
   
Jubilee gave her a short, authentic laugh. "Find myself a man, uh?"   
   
Shaking her head no, Marie thought of the gold guy and added, "Some no good."  
   
"Tell me about it," Jubilee agreed.   
   
After a while, an idea came to Marie. She didn't know if Jubilee would go for it but it was worth a try. The closest thing they could offer to Jubilee's one true love. Standing, Marie said, "Do something...you enjoy."   
   
Jubilee followed as Marie led the way to the old gymnasium. "Whoa, Chica," Jubilee stopped just inside the door surveying their surroundings.   
   
"No mall," Marie knew it wasn't like shopping but it was fashion, something Jubilee always excelled at. She walked over to Sally to see if Jubilee could work with them.   
   
She was expecting for Sally to say the more the merrier, one of those comforting Sally phrases. Instead, Sally assessed Jubilee and welcomed her. "We've been in need of a fashionista."  
   
Just like that Jubilee was part of the group.  The change wasn't immediate, but it happened. Marie wasn't certain how much it helped but Jubilee started exhibiting some of her older personality. At least in the gymnasium with the other women, it seemed to be enough.    
 

* * *

   
Marie didn't like it, not one bit. She stood in the doorway watching as the X-Men planned the takedown of a hidden sentinel factory. This Domino grated on her nerves. She thought she didn't have any left after the lab, but the appearance of this woman proved different.   
   
Jubilee referred to her as the bitch, though Marie was fairly certain that might have been more for her benefit than anything else. The other women all shook their heads in disapproval. Domino wasn't allowed in the lower levels, that was why all the planning was being done where Marie didn't have to work up her courage to go.    
   
It wasn't that she didn't trust Logan; he hadn't changed anything since the woman's arrival. She had yet to tell him her feelings for him and occasionally worried that he might leave her for someone that could return his love. But Marie knew he would inform her if that day ever came.   
   
No, it was all about the way Domino flirted with him. How she endlessly had her hands all over him. The sexual innuendo wasn't subtle either. Marie had even seen Cyclopes roll his eyes and the red-headed scientist walk away rubbing her temples.   
   
Luckily, this would all be over in a day or two. The woman would be gone and Marie would feel...feel what? Those emotions always just out of reach, swirling, rising. They scared her; she didn't want to think about what they meant.   
   
The team was finished, for the time being, and Marie continued to watch as the others filed out. Domino practically rubbed herself on Logan. He growled at her, not a nice growl and definitely not one he'd ever used with Marie.   
   
Logan was trying but this ruse for the sake of the mission was near impossible. There was a line he was unwilling to cross and Domino was constantly wanting him to step over it. So far he'd been successful at putting her off. He'd hate to rebuild this raid from scratch without the codes but he would if he had to.   
   
He was more concerned about Marie than anything else. She was weary of the whole situation and though he made sure not to neglect her; she was building a wall, becoming quieter again. He refused to sacrifice her wellbeing for this mission.  
   
"Dump the chaperon and we can have some fun," Domino said to no one in particular. Seeing as how there were only three people present, Marie knew it was meant for her.     
   
Logan gave another angry growl of displeasure, but Marie was already walking away. Her lungs were constricted and she couldn't catch her breath. In the lab, she'd practiced controlling her breathing, but this was beyond her control. Something was welling up inside her and she was afraid. Afraid she would be left paralyzed by this new feeling.   
   
Outside, she thought it would be easier to breathe. The Autumn air helped and she went to the one place that brought her solace, the meadow. It was a decent distance from the mansion, quiet and secluded. They camped there during the summer when one or both of them needed to get away. Logan had built a bench, a fire ring, and a picnic table.   
   
It was their spot. A place where they were left completely alone. Where she could find balance again before dealing with life at the mansion once more.   
   
It didn't take long for Logan to find her. He sat down beside her and waited. Patience was a virtue and he had an abundance where she was concerned. Enough patience that by now he should be a saint.   
   
As much as she told herself in the beginning that he might eventually want someone else, it hurt to think about it. "She wants you."  
   
Logan sighed and nodded. "Something like that." He knew it was only about the sex with Domino.  
   
"Have you, with her?" Marie knew it was too close to the surface and she wasn't making sense. He wouldn't cheat on her. "Before?"  
   
"Domino and I have a long history."  She was wanting more, he could see it in the way she wrapped her arms around herself. "We did. Before I met you."  

"Better for you," Marie stated flatly. Logan often held himself back for her and worked hard to keep their relationship together. He shouldn't have to.   
   
"How so?" He was curious exactly what she saw in Domino that would make Marie go down this train of thought.  
   
"Plan...fight together." She wasn't blind. They made an excellent team. "Wouldn't worry."   
   
Logan thought back over his past with Domino and immediately knew he wouldn't ever put the work into a relationship with her. Love of fighting wasn't a solid base for a relationship. "Is that what you want?"  
   
His chest tightened at the thought and he let his senses go, trying to take hold of the calm of the meadow. Let it override the hurt working its way up. In his urgency, he almost missed the smell of tears. For the first time since sitting down, he truly looked over at her.   
   
Tears glittered and clung to her lashes. She was pulling at her sleeves, trying to cover her hands. Clearly in distress as she began to rock slightly back and forth.   
   
Pulling her into a hug, he inquired again, "Marie?"  
   
"No." Her voice was shaky and the tears spilled over. "Want you to be happy," she said resting her head on his shoulder.   
   
"Wouldn't be happy with her." He kissed the top of her head. The dread he'd felt subsided. This was something they could sort out. "Love you and I'm sorry this is so hard for you."  
   
"But you let her..." Marie looked at him and made a sour face for lack of words.  
   
"Let her believe there might be something more after the mission?" he asked. It had taken too long, but they'd finally been able to suss out Domino's real goal. Separate plans had been made that only a handful of X-Men knew in order to mitigate anything that might implicate them.   
   
"Using her," Marie said, glancing up with a furrow in her brow.  
   
"Stringing her along." Logan wanted to tell Marie all about it, but it was best to wait. No one was around to hear, yet for now, the less said the better.   
   
Marie nodded in understanding, he would tell her when the time was right. She'd been accurate in her assessment of Logan's feelings for that woman but sometimes she knew she didn't pick up on social cues properly. Not to mention that he was trying to fool Domino into seeing what she wanted to see.   
   
Their talk helped her feelings to settle and filter themselves out. She knew now the emotion that scared her the most. Love. Receiving it was easy enough, it was giving it in return that disturbed her because up to now she'd feared it could still be rejected. Maybe someday soon she would be able to give that part of herself freely.   
   
They may not have solved the world's problems, but she really didn't care as long as things were good between them. She could breathe again, and that new feeling had fluttered around and landed in her chest warming it. Logan to had finally relaxed beside her, the tension between them having evaporated from his body.   
   
Wiping at the tears that had run down her cheeks, she looked out across the meadow. In the distance, she saw small, wooden pieces that baffled her. Getting up, she started toward them then stepped back and pulled Logan up.   
   
"Wondered when you'd notice those," he said nonchalantly. He'd been put in charge of some basic survival classes for the students. What had started out as a shelter building exercise had grown.   
   
He watched as Marie paced off the area between the wooden stakes. Eventually, she gave up and stood in the middle with her hands on her hips.   
   
"Cabin," he said with a grin.  
   
She stared over at him, eyes wide. "For us?"  
   
"Yep, already felled some trees." He hoped by this time next year, or soon after, it would be ready. Close enough to the others to remain active in mansion life but far enough away that neither of them would feel confined.   
   
"Give me a tour," she said crooking her arm for him to guide her around.   
   
Taking her hand instead, he showed her where the kitchen and dining room would be, then moved to the living room of the open floor plan. She nodded in approval at the mention of a porch.   
   
"For a rocking chair," she declared.  
   
He noticed it wasn't a request or suggestion. "Will do," he said before continuing the tour.   
   
They ended up in the bedroom with Marie already deciding where the bed would be placed. She liked the layout, big so they wouldn't feel cramped but smallish and homey. Though there was something missing that she couldn't readily put her finger on. "Only one bedroom?" she asked turning around.   
   
Logan ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn't wanted to be presumptuous and push anything on her. This was all in the preliminary planning stage and a second bedroom would easily be added.   
   
"Babies don't.." she paused summoning the courage, "Stay little long." Kitty's baby had grown by leaps and bounds. Just because Marie wasn't read for one tomorrow didn't mean she wouldn't want a baby someday. She felt as though she'd grown by leaps and bounds, and would be ready eventually.   
   
Sweeping her up in a bearhug, noting with satisfaction that the tightness of the hug no longer caused panic or even discomfort, he said, "If that is what you want."  
   
Burying her face in the crook of his neck, she inhaled his scent. It never failed to soothe her and she believed this is what would be called happiness. He'd worked long and hard to give her this sense of normalcy, she could do the same for him. "I do want it."


	10. Chapter 10

Marie woke up with a start, sitting bolt upright on the hard surface she'd fallen asleep on. Something was different, it was all wrong. She could hear the alarm in the distance. Had Wolverine come for her?

Maybe he couldn't make it to her. She needed to run while she could, he would catch up to her. He would find her, he had before, he would again.

Out in the open away from the facility, she ran through the cold. Through the trees toward an empty space in the distance.  She told herself she'd be safe once she made it there. 

* * *

Logan was glad that on these late nights he had a healing factor. One of the kids accidentally started a fire and set off the main alarm system. Pyro quickly put the fire out while he turned off the alarm and the rest of the staff did crowd control. 

With everything under control, he headed back to the upper level where he'd left Marie asleep on the old window seat. He hadn't even made it out of the dorm wing when he knew something was off. Nothing he could give a name to, but he quickened his pace. 

Before he got to the back stairs, he caught Marie's scent, full of confusion and terror. His stomach knotted up for the second he took to deduce she was alone. Immediately, he followed her scent outside. 

Frost had already formed and her haphazard, stumbling path was plain as day. Instinctively, he knew where he would find her and started off at a dead run. He took in great lungfuls of cold, crisp air to calm his racing mind. 

The only explanation he was coming up with was a nightmare. He knew exactly how real they could seem and was sure that the alarm and being alone hadn't helped. Cursing under his breath he ran on. He'd become too complacent in their routine, with her progress. Just because things looked fine on the surface, didn't mean they were. 

Sliding to a halt at the meadow, he promptly spotted her at the foundation for the cabin. Approaching cautiously, he called out to her, "Marie?"

Her fear was rapidly fading, and he saw some of the strain in her body decrease. "Wasn't a dream," she told him. Her voice still held a quiver of uncertainty. 

"Which part, Darlin'?" He kept his speech low and steady. A shiver ran through her as she stood there in nothing else but his old t-shirt. Shucking his flannel shirt, he wrapped it around her damp frame. 

Turning her head, she blinked at him then looked back at the cabin. "This one." She took a jittery breath, "Couldn't tell...was afraid..."

"The nightmare was all you had," he finished for her.

"One step forward," she said in disappointment. 

"Two back," he confirmed, scooping her up into his arms. Her condition after her run in the dark concerned him. There were multiple scrapes and cuts needing tending. "Let's get you back to the room and cleaned up."

She nodded her head then rested it on his shoulder. Placing a hand on his chest, she felt the need to apologize. Without reason, she'd fled. "Didn't mean to alarm you."

"It's okay," He'd given her plenty of grief with his dreams that there was no need for her to be sorry. "Want to talk?"

He always offered and sometimes they did, but tonight it was too close, too raw. "No," she said voice still shaky.

Maybe later but for now it was sufficient that he'd come for her and was taking care of her. He brushed his lips against her forehead. It was moments like this she knew he really did care. She only hoped he knew she cared for him too. 

* * *

"Shh...," Logan warned, pulling her tight. They'd stepped out for a breather after lunch taking advantage of the rare sunny day between snow storms. Apparently, they weren't the only ones.

Marie peeked over his shoulder through the wooden slats of the old arbor. Jubilee had taken a walk in the snow and Pyro was jogging to catch up to her. They started talking, no arguing. She could tell by their posture.

"What are they saying?" Marie asked quietly of Logan who hadn't moved from the bench where she kneeled beside him.  She knew he could hear them even if she couldn't. 

Logan normally tuned this stuff out and Marie never cared what others talked about. However, she'd taken an interest in Jubilee's reintegration to life at the mansion. It was her one real social connection outside of himself so he indulged her.  

He pulled her leg over him, so she straddled him but could still see over his shoulder. Holding her securely, he whispered into her ear as she continued to observe the two. 

You abandoned us.  Marie knew Jubilee was accusing Pyro of leaving her, she'd struggled with similar thoughts. Not that Logan had abandoned her but alone in the lab she'd had too much time to think. 

I know I'm sorry. We weren't doing enough here.  Pyro shrugged and there wasn't much more he could do for Jubilee but explain and be there for her. Marie squeezed Logan's shoulder, he'd done that and so much more for her. 

Went with a madman.  Marie snorted, she could have told Pyro that before he left. He kind of deserved the finger currently being jabbed in his chest. 

Poor choice in the end. Logan took advantage of Marie's diverted attention and skimmed his hand up underneath her open jacket, slowly unbuttoning her blouse. 

You expect me to forget?  Pushing Logan's hand away, she leaned into him to ward off the cool air. Undaunted, he found the hem of her skirt and glided his hand up her leg. 

"He's reaching out...touching her cheek." Marie had unconsciously wound her hand into Logan's hair holding him still. He was good at multitasking whereas her mind was still single track most of the time. She needed to know how this would work out for Jubilee and Logan's nuzzling was distracting. "She's leaning into it."

No. Just forgive. Marie's eyes slid closed, Logan’s voice was so low and husky in her ear, how could he compartmentalize so easily? Her eyes snapped open, she needed to concentrate on something besides his hand kneading her thigh. 

"She slapped his hand away," she said, perturbed by this development. 

Supposed to fall into your arms? Marie let out a frustrated sigh as Pyro stuck his hands into his pockets, shrugging again. 

Marie held her breath, waiting for Jubilee to make a decision. Logan could sense her disappointment and rubbed a soothing hand along her back. "Standing there. She wants to hit him."

Damn you. Jubilee made a move to push Pyro but ended up grabbing him instead and pulling him to her.

"They're kissing," Marie gasped, eyes widening.  In her excitement, she turned and placed a kiss behind Logan's ear, the first spot she could reach. In return, he pinched her buttock. 

It was all very confusing, but thinking back Marie knew anyone that had looked at her and Logan might have thought the same thing. Still might, not understanding the dynamics between them. She watched as Jubilee stomped off and Pyro followed with a silly grin on his face.  

There was only one thing Marie wanted to know, "Can she trust him?"

Logan had to smile at how far she'd come, from barely worrying about herself to being concerned about a friend. "He'll do right by her."

"Will have to do," she said with a nod. "Can't all get a Logan to love." 

Snorting he pulled her in for a kiss. "Love you too." He took his time kissing a trail down her throat, making his way to her exposed breasts. She ground down onto him as she purred into his ear. 

* * *

All winter long, since they'd first moved into the cabin, Marie had been constructing this rug. The women she worked with had shown her how to fashion strips of old fabric into rugs. There was no shortage of clothes beyond repair to use. The first denim one she made sat proudly on his side of the bed.

The rug on her side showed a little more skill and patience. All the others around the cabin had been made before they moved in. Logan knew it had been important to her to contribute to the cabin. Jubilee had even helped her to measure windows and make curtains. He really didn't mind that the lacy, sparkly bedroom curtains appeared to be made of an old ball gown. It made Marie happy. 

It was small strides like those that he used to gauge her progress. There had been a big celebration after the New Year to mark a legislative victory and several other inroads that Xavier and Jean had made in Congress. Marie had willingly participated and then quietly let him know she’d had enough after a while. She had a ways to go, but she wanted to take those steps toward healing.  

Watching her now from the doorway to the empty room, he realized the large colorful rug covered almost the entire space and was complete. He'd teased her all winter about how bright it was. She was currently putting the finishing touches on a smaller rug she'd made that was slightly more muted but just as colorful. 

"Where's the monstrosity going?" he asked with a hint of laughter.

Marie gave him a look she'd developed during the winter months. It was halfway between indignation and a pout. She looked sexy as hell doing it. More than once it had put an end to his teasing and started something else. He thought about stealing a kiss, but she was already back to stitching. 

"Here." She waved a hand with the needled around. "Can't stay empty forever."

They'd talked about this off and on. The room felt odd without anything in it. Logan had said in the spring he'd start building some furniture for the room. She hoped he'd make log beds out of pine like what he'd done for their room.  There was still one project she had in mind she hadn't talked to him about. 

Snipping the last thread on her latest rug, she held it up for him to inspect. She'd become good at these rugs, but this was probably the last for the foreseeable future. There were other items she would need to start working on. Time went all too quickly and the lab was over two years ago and much had changed, mostly for the better. 

Things at the mansion ran about as normal as they could. Her nightmares had lessened. Logan was right, they would never be completely gone, but there in the cabin, her home, they seemed more manageable. Her life was more manageable. 

She still worked with the other women and learned to alter clothing for others. The outside world had a never-ending stream of old clothes to donate. Occasionally she helped out with the preschool that had been set up for younger children. She still preferred the clothes as she could wrestle them into submission but she was relearning how to deal with people through the kids. 

Taking the rug, he looked it over. "Best one yet," he commented, earning him a smile. He took her hand and helped her up. "Where's it going?"

"Crib," she answered. 

Reflexively, he breathed in her scent. He thought that here in their home, he'd become satisfied, content; and overlooked something he shouldn't have. Though he didn't miss her rolling her eyes at him. (Definitely spending far too much time with Jubilee.) Her way of telling him he was being silly. 

Pulling her shirt off over her head, she met his gaze. Marie still put a smile on his face when she suddenly switched gears, giving him little warning that she wanted him. Her abruptness never failed to fascinate him, whether it was after a compliment on her cooking, in the middle of chopping wood, or when he looked up from a book. After the initial surprise, she was more than happy to let him know the delight she took in having sex. 

Logan raised an eyebrow at her and she realized she'd been discourteous again and forgotten her social cues. It usually happened when she had been concentrating on something and a random thought crossed her mind of how much she loved him. The impulse to show him followed, which she rarely fought. 

It was just that sometimes in the evening when he read aloud to her from whatever book he'd picked up; he'd look at her with those soft eyes and she couldn't help herself. Or last week when he'd been chopping wood and it occurred to her how much he'd done for her, for them. She'd wanted to show her appreciations. It didn't hurt that he was receptive or pretended to let her 'talk' him into it. 

Marie looked at him seriously, but he could see the amusement in her eyes. "Might need to practice."

Snorting, he bent down for a kiss and let her take the rug from his hands. Two years later some of her scars had faded, been muted by time. Others were almost as vivid as the first time he'd seen them. A good, steady diet helped, he could see by the way it filled out her curves and that the gloss had returned to her hair. He had many regrets where she was concerned; namely making it necessary to rescue her in the first place. Never would he regret loving her. 

He must have been telegraphing his thoughts as she gave him that pouty look followed by, "Don't go there."

The first time they'd had sex, Marie remembered the confusion she felt, the uncertainty of what she wanted or needed. However, that was something of the past. Now she reveled in Logan's touch no matter how he went about it. She was secure in the knowledge that he would never do anything to hurt her. They had crossed that bridge long ago and though she knew he sometimes held back for her sake. There had also been times when she'd approached him knowing that he wouldn't hold back. Those times she marked him the best she could, however temporarily.

Taking her time, she slowly undressed him. Her touches were practiced and smooth and he let her do as she pleased. He stopped her as she began a descending pattern of kisses on his abdomen. Peering up at him she saw the glint of lust in his eyes. She knew the way she was crouched there was no hiding the scent of her arousal, not that she wanted to. 

Marie wanted him to hear her heart racing, and her increased breathing. She liked to hear him growl in approval. Smiling at him she decided on a different course of action and retaining her grip on his hip, she pulled him down on the floor with her. 

Logan didn't hesitate as she guided him to her entrance. In one smooth slide, he thrust into her, stopping to shift position as he sheathed himself completely. Spreading her knees further apart she sighed in pleasure. 

Resting his forehead on hers, he whispered, "Practice, huh?"

She sucked at his bottom lip then wrapped her legs around him. Beginning to move, she answered, "Lots."

Capturing her lips, he started a hard steady rhythm that left them both panting. Over time, this had become the one thing that she never hid her feelings during. There were still social situations where she shut down, buried it all, but not with him. Never during sex. His affection and love were always hers for the taking. 

Grabbing at him, pulling him deeper, she felt the pressure build as her body began to shake. He never failed to make her feel good. Especially since she had opened herself up to loving him in return. 

A tension was building in his body. She could feel his muscles straining to maintain this pace, to provide the friction she craved. There was nothing slow about this and she grabbed hold of his ass trying to grind onto him. The sweat on his skin told her he was on the threshold too. 

She arched away from him and he took the opportunity to lean in and lightly bite her neck. He broke away to breathe in her scent. "So fucking beautiful," he murmured, thrusting into her. She fell apart underneath him, taking him over the edge with her. 

After climaxing, he used the last of his energy to roll them over so she wouldn't bear the brunt of his weight. She wiggled around a little, getting comfortable. Resting her crossed arms on his chest, she nestled her chin on them so she could examine him. 

"Thank you."

He grunted, then smirked at her. "My pleasure."

She fixed him with a stare and the smirk faded. There was so much she was grateful for. He'd given her a ride, saved her life multiple times, rescued her from the lab and most of all stuck with her while she put herself back together. "For everything," she stated knowing it didn't come close to how she felt. 

The love in his eyes was plain to see. He swept the stray hairs behind her ear and bent upward to place a kiss on her forehead. She knew he understood and didn't shy away from it. 

"Anytime." It was the conviction in his voice that confirmed the choice she'd made about their future. No matter what, he would be there to help her. She wasn't alone in this life, she didn't need to hide herself away from him.

A quiet moment passed before he asked, "You think we're ready?"

The way he stated the question made her love him even more. He always used we, even when it was her decision, letting her know they were in it together. "Here with you," Marie shrugged a shoulder. "If it happens, it happens."

The girl Rogue was gone, replaced by Marie. She was more than what others had tried to make her into. Logan helped her see she wasn't a victim, she didn't need to be frozen in the situations foisted on her. 

Most of all she could choose to do things she didn't think she could manage on her own. He would always have her best interest at heart. If need be, there was a whole mansion full of people not too far way to back them up. 

Sitting up, she pulled him with her. Staying in his lap, she played with his wild hair and wondered if all his offspring would have that. There was only one way to find out. "We need-"

Logan cut her off, "-more practice," he finished with a smile. He didn't have to wait for that crooked little smile to grace her features, or wait for the words 'love you', to know they would be okay. They'd face their problems together and that was enough for him. 


End file.
